Carl Lamy

Documents: Make them, file them

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

@AgathaChocolats Can't talk now...I'm a Mime.

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#IFeelLikeADangerousWomanOrManWhen I put on the uniform

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

I'm a multitasker, so #WhileTakingAShower I like to also practice for my upcoming line dancing competition.

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

Wile E. Coyote #KeepsItRunning

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#AddBannasToAnything In the 1970s Bic added banana to a pen...I can't beat that.

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#MyWeirdImpulseBuys I like to get a Danish or two for breakfast

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#MeasurementsInMoviesOrSongs The Light Year of Living Dangerously

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#FoundInTheLincolnMemorialPool A letter Trump sent to Jeffrey Epstein explaining that he couldn't chase underage girls with him anymore because he was too busy paying hookers for sex.

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#AddACatchphraseToASong Ooohh, storm of FBI Accountants is threating, the existence of my very illegal betting profits today. Gimme, Gimme shelter in an offshore banking system with privacy shelter laws, ooor, my illicit gambling's gonna fade away.

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#IfIWasATrillionaire I'd be all "No, Sydney Sweeney, Thursday night is your night. Scarlett Johansson is with me all night Friday night. And Saturday I'm with the whole Women's Vols Basketball Team."

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

@AgathaChocolats Costs $4,983.37 every morning...worth it!

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

@AgathaChocolats Cat alarm says cab pot's ready!

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#WhenThereAreNoEggRolls just replace them with jelly rolls. Eggs, jelly, you use them both for breakfast, right? So, what's the difference?

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#ITakeItSlowBy using all the techniques I learned in my Zombie Training course

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

@AgathaChocolats Can you hear me now?

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#WhenTheLiftIsntWorking I remove some of the weights to make it a little easier.

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

#ElephantsInASongOrMovie Bring on da noise, bring on da trunk!

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

@CuriosityonX Fred. I'd name it Fred.

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

@RetroMoviesDB No. I am not your Father. I am Uncle Owen. Surprise! I mean, that plastic skeleton I left at the house didn't really fool you, did it? It was soooo fake.

[Carl Lamy @carllamy]

@AgathaChocolats Like pissing kid statue better..."coo!"