Michael Carl

Michael Carl, Vice President of PR and Influence, Hermès, sports freak, fashion obsessed, love a good practical joke. Hate bagels

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Dear fire island housemates, I’m getting these for all of us for next year - can you imagine how cool we will be all bouncing to low tea - we will be the talk of fire island

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Last night I realized I was drink away from feeling like Ray Liota

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

My 5 year old Nephew lifted up my t shirt and told me I had a big tummy 😡 so I told him Santa wasn’t real and that his mom had a drinking problem

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Oh hi @BrittanyBabc7 loved seeing the Pooches today on the show - We’ve got Bonnie (the dog) and Moose (the cat) here - dying for a ⭐️ turn on @ABC

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Is this thing still working?

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Did you know that squirrels 🐿 lose 80% of the nuts they hide?

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Michelle Pheiffer is on my flight and it’s taking everything I’ve got not to walk up to her and purr “meow” and lick the back of my hand

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Dear Tom - wanna join my fantasy football league next year? - our buy in is just $125 - you can still afford it and you don’t have to worry about her nagging you anymore

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

I have already put a down payment on two baby giraffes 🦒 Bonnie is going to love hew new sisters

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

I’d really like to become a “hat guy” but then I know people takes about me they’d say “oh you know that queen that wears the fedora” 🎩

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Sometimes the world 🌎 is just too much - sweet jimmy

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

@JamesBWhiteside looking super sexy in your tux @Hermes_Paris real men wear tights, but look good in a tux too

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

@JuneFarmsMatt I don’t think you’re a sell out l!!! 😉

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

After spin yesterday I asked the hot straight dude next to me if we should take a shower before we got breakfast - he didn’t miss a beat and said with a grin “sorry, I only take baths” #goodsport

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Me after listening to the pivot today - Yes, being exhausted is not an option!
@scottgalloway31 @karaswisher

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Go see TÁR - The costume design is EVERYTHING and the dialogue is WICKED - KATE is the clear front runner for best actress - whoa 😳

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Me: Now that I’ve lost all the weight I feel like my head looks too big
Boss: get out of my office
🫤

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

Zachary Quinto looks like a handsome Lorax

[Michael Carl @carlscrush]

August is the Sunday of months, and the Tuesday after Labor Day weekend is just a Monday playing mind games - awful mind games