Carly Sands

yessirski

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

i just got rid of everything and took three backpacks to the airport with a one way ticket to Salt Lake City, i feel outta my mind

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

I didn’t realize I was down bad until i was eating arugula from the bag

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

if ur not gonna sell the battery with the power tool ur selling on fb marketplace, then you’re no better than Lowes!

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

there are select times your girl should be on her knees and doing pushups isn’t one of them 🫢

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

I like to think I’m not judgmental but then you see a dude squirt an entire bottle of ketchup on a burger at an airport bar

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

just wanna know how hotels get their eggs so wet

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

stop talking during the dang song!!!

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

please mansplain to me a little more, I’m really into it

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

I can hear your Tesla, what’s wrong with it

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

@lexiinthemiddle back in our day that was the only thing to do

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

@happystuyear Yes! they knock you out, do their thing, and you get a popsicle at the end

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

eat a pupusa on Capitol Hill with me so I know it’s real

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

@traderjoes what’s a gal gotta do to get hooked up with a lifetime supply of green goddess dressing

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

i miss Lil Keed

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

tell me something more unattractive than a guy who’s more into the act of watching football instead of playing it

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

if you can say the name “Joanne” normally after seeing the movie House Bunny, props to ya

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

@char10tt3sm1th lowkey I tapped in for a second ~wish I hadn’t~ and quickly realized if we just stayed present with the current times there’s less cringe involved all around, so yuh retweet

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

asking for help is hot

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

bartender: did you bring a tech deck to a bar?
me: sure did 🛹

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

i vote they remake she’s the man but a queer version who’s with me

[Carly Sands @carlyIsands]

can’t become old and wise if you’re not young and reckless