🥱

catch me watching true crime documentaries to avoid my crippling anxiety about my future as an adult

[Fifty Shades of Whey @davenewworld_2]

2 drivers in Florida started firing their guns at each other in a fit of road rage for no reason. One man had a 5-year-old in his car and the other one had a 14-year-old. Both of the children got shot. Just like our forefathers intended when they wrote the Constitution.

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

Have a beautiful Sunday.

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Doja Cat panics as she realizes that verified accounts currently can’t change their display name anymore.

[Governor Tony Evers @GovEvers]

Still jazzed as hell.

[☆ ‧dreamboy··‧̩̥˟͙冬˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

WILL FERRELL CAME TO MY FUCKIN CONCERT ! nobody can tell me shit

[kaitlyn🛸 @fearlesskait]

midnights tour is age restricted because she’s going to bring a man on stage during vigilante shit and sacrifice him

[Mike Majlak @mikemajlak]

HOW FAST DID AIRPORT SECURITY CHANGE AFTER 9/11? WHY ARE WE NOT DOING THE SAME FOR OUR KIDS?

[Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously]

How am I supposed to do anything? How are any of us expected to just keep doing what was scheduled? We live in hell.

[Randy Bryce @IronStache]

It only happens here.

[Randy Bryce @IronStache]

If you’re at a rally today it would be a great opportunity to recruit volunteers to knock doors and make sure voters are registered.

Rallies are great but winning elections keep horrible legislation from being enacted.

[Peter Kalmus @ClimateHuman]

Shouldn't over 1,000 scientists risking arrest to save the planet be a bigger news story than Elon Musk trying to buy Twitter?

[Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein]

Thinking about this again

[Kwik Trip @KwikTrip]

go to jail. prison.

[Big Supernaturals @UweBollocks]

When I was a kid I thought the long vampire fangs were hollow and had holes in the end that they drank blood through like straws

[caca @clawdezz]

we are living in george orwell’s 1984

[Hari Kunzru @harikunzru]

In line at pharmacy. Woman in front of me picking up a prescription for her kid. "That'll be $819" says the pharmacist. She looks stunned. "For one month?" "Sixty pills," he tells her. They leave without the medicine.

[$𝔩𝔞𝔭☃️ @slvppy]

“payment was successful”

me: stfu

[NUFF @nuffsaidny]

McDonald’s Sprite can probably fry fish.