Carlyn Main

CFO of a wine store, dog lover, et al.

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

“I wonder when all my FB friends’ kids are starting school and what grade they’re in.”
-no one

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

I know I have PMS because by noon today I had already gotten into fights with the printer and my spouse’s shoes. #pms

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

#lifehack I took too large of a hit of pot, coughed, and my watch counted it as 1 minute of exercise. #questionableexercise #weedsmokers #doctortoldmetoexercise #thiscounts

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

I am doing some newish art. See my page on FB https://t.co/Ma3Sbuj4ZU or Etsy https://t.co/9yeBGe7d4S #emergingartist #tangomangoart #fluidart #itsallforsale

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

Saw the abbreviation “HAB” meaning hot as balls, and the weirdest part was that I knew what it meant immediately. #hab #hotasballs #midwest #summer #notamillennial

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

When you ask a 4 year old to try something new. #toddler #gourmand #adventurouseater #assessmentcomplete

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

@HowStuffWorks I am a lemur: attentive, busy, emotional, and hairy all over.

[Be A King @BerniceKing]

As you honor my father today, please honor my mother, as well. She was the architect of the King Legacy and founder of @TheKingCenter, which she founded less than three months after Daddy died. Without #CorettaScottKing, there would be no #MLKDay. #MLK  #BelovedCommunity

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

@JenniferGMarie @SarahKSilverman @kylegriffin1 I was sick to my stomach seeing that.

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

Willie: (Dips strawberry in ketchup) Have you ever tried red on red?
Me: No, is it gross?
W: Yes.

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

I can’t relate to people who don’t have anxiety. What are you so not worried about?! #anxiety

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

Willie is having the pearl rice with salsa tomate americain, and sautéed fromage brioche. What a champion eater! #4yearolddiet #fancy

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

Is it short for Cardigan Butts? #CardiB

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

A lot of my friends are posting cheesy family portraits. So here. #portrait #familypicture #us #longtongue

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

Real talk. #vote and also #moredogwalks

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

Saw a bumper sticker. It said “failure is not an option” but I read it as “praline.” #pralineISanoption #praline #failure #failedtoread

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

@Grandpa_Rufus @SarahKSilverman “China virus. Miss no opportunity to fan the flames. #racist #barf

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

Inspired by having left my son’s batmen at my mom’s house, I coined this term.

Imagency:
/im-a’-jun-see/: n. An imaginary emergency. pl. imagencies #imagency #madeupword #hybridword #batman

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

My son said “we’re having snarts!” Still not sure what s’mores are. #smores #roastedmarshmallow #campfire #snarts

[Carlyn Main @carlymain]

Willie just summoned Jason with “Customer service?” And now I have a great line for initiating “adult time.” #CustomerService #sexytime #inthemood #parent