Carmelo Rose

Comedy can heal the soul!

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

I hate graffiti. In fact, I hate all Italian food.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

Fun is a good thing, but only when it spoils nothing better.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

If it were easy, fathers would do it. If it were easy, fathers would do it.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

If at first you don't succeed, try a shorter bungee.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

Some days it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

That boy's about as sharp as a bag of wet mice.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

It's been monday all week.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

Time is a luxury you do not have.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

I've got my laser printer set on "stun".

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

History repeats itself. That is one of the things wrong with history.

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

[Carmelo Rose @carmelorose]

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.