Carmen Barton

Comedian/Actress/Wife/Mom/StepMom Instagram:carmencomedy

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Ppl keep saying “u need to get out the house” but I always end up at Walmart buying dumb shit. Just bought a freaking lawnmower! It was on sale but I live in an apartment. #confessionsofawidow

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Just when I think things can’t get any worst…I’m pretty sure I just had my first hot flash! God, how much do you think I can take! #confessionsofawidow

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Ppl say “he wouldn’t want you to be sad” yes tf he would! He’d be like “um I been dead less than 3 months and you got the nerve to be out here happy!” Trust me he’s completely fine with the fact that I’m completely falling apart. #confessionsofawidow

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

My insomnia is like IDC bout them warm bubble baths, hot tea and melatonin, you gon wake up at 4am and cry a river! 😩 I hate it here.

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Dear @CedarsSinai your facial tissue is hard asf. Can you invest in the tissue with the lotion for the ppl who lost loved ones. It’s bad enough their loved 1 died but to have to wipe their eyes with cardboard just adds insult to injury. Do better!

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

It’s some unwritten rule to bring chicken to the home of the bereaved. Can we change this to shrimp, lamb chops or something cus these chicken thighs jus too much!

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

What happens when the only person that can het you thru the death of a loved one is the one that dies #confessionsofawidow

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Deep down I always knew it was too good to be true. #confessionsofawidow

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Went from being 100% independent most of my life, to getting married & finally allowing someone to take care of me, then losing them now I’m completely lost.

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

September 1st thoughts……this nigga really got me out here payin the WHOLE RENT BY MYSELF! #confessionsofawidow

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

I’ve been recognizing my triggers (things that make me think of my husband & cry uncontrollably) showering is the worst one so I’ve been bathing at the kitchen sink for 2 weeks now. #confessionsofawidow

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

I’m alone for the first time in 24 days. I kinda wana fart but I dint have too

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Went to the store and grabbed a bunch of snacks 4 my flight tomorrow, got bk to my hotel and ate ALL of them 🤦🏾‍♀️ #fatgirlshit

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

I’m jus trying to see my collar bone again! Anybody in LA wanna join me tonight @bloodyearlyhour:30 for @_bodybynickcarthan fitness class?? Can’t beat $12! @ Los Angeles, California https://t.co/CDnuHYpE8F

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

So happy I was able to help give my cousin @Ja_Rene a baby shower for her second bundle of joy 👼🏽🤰🏾family and friends flew from far and wide to join her and her extended family here in… https://t.co/3H3ElWaMdd

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Long legs turn heads 💋#jumper from sugarbsboutique https://t.co/rSldOCHXC2

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

I’m @dcimprov all weekend s/o to @nikkiestylez for slaying this hair baby. 💇🏽 She is my #DMV stylist and gets me together everytime follow and support her! Before y’all ask ALL SHOWS ARE… https://t.co/dZn1wYe2X8

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾#thankyou #philly 💋 @ Philadelphia, Pennsylvania https://t.co/alZxiOhNGn

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Then when you done give her to God....... @ Los Angeles, California https://t.co/Bmvya9OKYb

[Carmen Barton @carmencrazy]

Look how tight she holding his neck tho😂😂😂 the 1st sentence says it all. These men will drain you financially, physically, and mentally ONLY IF YOU ALLOW IT! Let his damn neck… https://t.co/bIfEZ0ifzD