Carol Lefevre

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

@crystalchappell thank you...my first one without Linda in 28 years

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

@carollefevre #nicolewallace have you looked at Barbara Comstock's comments on women's issues?

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

Nicolewallace

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

http://t.co/Vx31jtnSDF At the risk of offending my fans, I finally bought an air conditioner

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

Nothing says "I'm single" like a string cheese wrapper in the bathroom trash can. http://t.co/7HtdxRAzmt

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

http://t.co/TauChJHb7O Ran out of Manila envelops. Off to the Philippines.

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

http://t.co/fMldxFHlJC I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman.

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home. http://t.co/tSzuC14Ogl

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/l4iHpbrfiY

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/M1IuR2Mwi7

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

http://t.co/4wf6Hppy0J The Bible is subtitled "Shit My God Says".

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell. http://t.co/0U4PvTW3An

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you http://t.co/G1wYmBB2Gd

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/kqc6AJoRRi

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

http://t.co/B7phhqbj9I "I liked small butts. I was lying." - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

Justin Bieber? Why would someone call their daughter Justin? http://t.co/PhxyPjFe

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

http://t.co/4lq2vXEb I love when cashiers ask you if that's everything. Oh no, I'd also like all this invisible shit.

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

http://t.co/QwnKoEpT Just changed the names of all the girls in my contact list to: "Jake, from State Farm".

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

http://t.co/O2y1eAM6 I just totally misunderstood the meaning of 'Strip Mall' and could one of you guys send bail money?

[Carol Lefevre @carollefevre]

I can confidently say I'm 150 pounds of solid sexy. Plus 40-50 of squishy stuff. http://t.co/XETZ1w8U