Carrots

just a ginger who loves waffles and news.

[Amanda @Pandamoanimum]

The final dance in Dirty Dancing, but they’re dancing to The Muppet Show theme tune.

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

So you’re telling me that a 12 year old is too young to buy a PG-13 movie ticket, a lottery ticket or cold medicine, too young to drive a car or to vote, but not too young to be forced to carry a baby to term or to marry?

How fucked up is that?

[Carrots @carolrobins]

@PlanetFitness Hi! They have been informed multiple times by multiple people. It’s a shame to see the store level and you have such a passive response to multiple health code violations.🙃

[Carrots @carolrobins]

Cancelling my @PlanetFitness membership immediately.🤢

[Carrots @carolrobins]

Coming into 2022 with The #NewGirl podcast is the best thing that could have ever happened. @HannahSimone I’m also Team Carebears in a brawl.

[Carrots @carolrobins]

Anytime iPhone suggests updating the name of my girls because they have *new* last names - I hit that “x” so hard. Sorry Apple, this my girl before she was someone else’s and she gonna stay that way.

[Carrots @carolrobins]

Con: his Buffalo concert has been cancelled for the 3rd time.

Pro: @thebrianfallon is doing a at home live show ON my birthday.

[Carrots @carolrobins]

@antonio_Clayb @NFL Thank goodness for Tootie for making kinda sense to me.😂

[Carrots @carolrobins]

Am I sweet potato drunk or shouldn’t the game say TNF - not SNF during the game? @NFL

[Carrots @carolrobins]

@antonio_Clayb @NFL But it’s Thursday! And there’s always TNF and SNF. I’m so confused.

[Count (Finance Director for Big Bird - Parody) @bulletinnetork]

One! Two! I count two insurrectionists.

[Carrots @carolrobins]

@SenatorBigBird What do we gotta do to get @MissPiggy as your press secretary? PLEASE.

[Buffalo Bills @BuffaloBills]

“I like ranch on my wings.” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[Carrots @carolrobins]

Tell me you’re a homophobe without telling me you’re a homophobe.

[Carrots @carolrobins]

Crying actual tears of joy & shaking in anticipation waiting for presale tickets for @Cary_Elwes to start at 10.

[Cary Elwes @Cary_Elwes]

34 years ago today a little indie movie I made, The #PrincessBride, premiered in North America and changed my life forever... As You Wish ~ Westley ❤️⚔️

[Carrots @carolrobins]

If mister 305 doesn’t give us a mister 315 - prepare for a riot. @pitbull easiest cheesiest people pleaser.

[Carrots @carolrobins]

I’m so tired that the footage of the dog who went missing ringing her own video doorbell after going missing made me cry enough that my boss that something bad had happened. Happy hump day people.😭

[Carrots @carolrobins]

@snapchatsupport Updated it and it’s still broken.

[Carrots @carolrobins]

@erlizare Your use of my favorite punctuation has me picturing you and your hands screaming this at someone and I’d pay to see it IRL.