Caro Portela

[໊ @sonohoor]

for someone who loves to sleep so much you’d think that i’d go to bed earlier

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

My friends are paying $40,000/year for daycare.

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

The haters said a trade war would tank the market.

They were correct.

Honesty, great call by the haters.

[memes.xlsx @ExcelHumor]

can they shut down Teams instead of tiktok

[Sassington, M.C. @MissSassbox]

my brain will never be able to process how this translates into sound, no matter how many times I read how it's done. it's fascinating as hell.

[Russell 🏳️‍🌈 @Medic_Russell]

the worm in RFK’s brain on his way to day one as deputy health secretary

[victoria 🫶🏻 @litttlesnappy]

praising jesus because a rapist was elected is why i don’t go to church anymore

[Julie Roginsky @julieroginsky]

I have been asked on two different networks and by two different male hosts today whether abortion rights are as important to women as the economy. I can't say it more clearly: reproductive freedom is economic freedom. They are intrinsically intwined, as every woman knows.

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

Kamala Harris did this in just 100 days, and she executed it perfectly. So imagine her presidency. Women are much better leaders.

[pamela ☁️☀️🛸 @tisthepamseason]

i need to speak with whoever put halloween, daylight savings, and the election all in the same week i feel like im losing my mind and time isn’t real

[Andrew Lawrence @ndrew_lawrence]

when they call tim walz “far left” they mean “provided school children with food”

[Caro Portela @caroport]

We are living in a twilight zone 😵‍💫

[nikki mccann ramírez @NikkiMcR]

in the last 10 days the Supreme Court has ruled that the president can do crimes, bribery is legal, agencies have no actual authority, and also that the homeless can be thrown in prison for the crime of not having a home.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Supreme Court Overturns 'Right v. Wrong' https://t.co/hh8cFjNAMX

[Caro Portela @caroport]

@HiltonHotels Thanks for the quick response, mono has been found!! Your GM Sergio & Kevin went personally to check the room and it was still there! Working with them to get mono safely home to LA. 10/10 customer service 🐒🏠🙌🏻

[Caro Portela @caroport]

Help! My niece left her beloved mono at @HiltonHotels Anaheim this weekend. Every parent knows this struggle! Please help us #findmono #twitterdoyourthing

[Kazembe Balagun @Bronxbanlieue]

Eric Adams about to send 500,000 cops to the earth’s core.

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

entering my white boy era ( confidently applying for jobs I’m unqualified for)

[Ahmed Baba @AhmedBaba_]

Trump was literally sued by the DOJ for housing discrimination against Black people in 1973

[Tommy Vietor @TVietor08]

Important points via @playbookdc about the cruelty and absurdity of "pro-life" activists trying to ban IVF