Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi

He/Him | #RCTID | #COYS 🐓| #BAONPDX | #FCSP 🏴‍☠️ | #GoIrish☘️ | ↙️↙️↙️ | ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽 | 🇮🇪🇳🇴🇸🇪

[Portland Timbers @TimbersFC]

21 moments from the very start 📸

@craigmdyer shares his favorite pictures leading up to 377.

@DiegoChara21 x #RCTI21 moments from the very start 📸

@craigmdyer shares his favorite pictures leading up to 377.

@DiegoChara21 x #RCTI21 moments from the very start 📸

@craigmdyer shares his favorite pictures leading up to 377.

@DiegoChara21 x #RCTI21 moments from the very start 📸

@craigmdyer shares his favorite pictures leading up to 377.

@DiegoChara21 x #RCTI21 moments from the very start 📸

@craigmdyer shares his favorite pictures leading up to 377.

@DiegoChara21 x #RCTI21 moments from the very start 📸

@craigmdyer shares his favorite pictures leading up to 377.

@DiegoChara21 x #RCTID

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

You can really tell that we had an ice storm here because everybody has tons of empty liquor handles in their recycling bins.

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

@TimbersFC used to be the only thing that truly brought me joy in this godforsaken world. Now I haven’t been to a match in nearly 3 years. FUCK YOU, Merritt. #RCTID #YouKnew

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

@timbersarmy @TimbersFC Just the thing I needed to remind me why I dropped my season tix after 12+ years #SellTheTeamMerritt

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

@bigplastichead @NoPityVan I don’t know why no one ever describes the length for different sizes

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

@bigplastichead @NoPityVan Yeah, a proper size guide would be nice.

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

I swear our house is built on the remains of an ancient ant civilization and their descendants are terrorizing us for desecrating their sacred site

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

*WITH a five year old

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

It’s really incredible how often people disregard the “no solicitations” sign on our door and knock anyway. Now I have to have a conversation about Jehovah’s Witnesses to a five year old…

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

One of the wildest things about depression is how a therapist can tell you or a loved one that the expectations you/they have set for you are unreasonable and you will just be like “nah, I’m just a piece of shit.”

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

@uh__milly I feel attacked

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

It’s incredible how often I used to interact with this app and now I look at it maybe once a week. I think it has just become too hard to engage with all the misery

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

We’ve never deserved Harry #TTID #COYS

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

Oh, you like Martin Luther King Jr.? Well let me tell you about Robert F. Williams.

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

@holyqueerit To be fair, this warning was not exclusive to Evangelicals. Basically everyone I knew told me my whole life how hard marriage is/would be. Hell, if it wasn’t for couples eventually being enemies would we even have standup comedians?

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

We’ve officially reached the time of year where I have to swear fealty to the squirrels lest they peel the skin off my face when I try to use my garden shed

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

@eggshellfriend It’s called anhedonia

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

I tend to think that people who use Walmart delivery are not really the same people watching the World Cup but maybe I’m wrong.

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

A wine perfectly crafted for people who carry roofies

[Kelly ⭐️ Shut Up Alexi @carrk_]

There’s so many drinks getting tossed by LAFC fans. Totally classless #MLSCup