Ant Carr

Purveyor of silly telly shows, northern chap, fan of mountains living in flat Danish capital.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@squidgame @squidgame fans. Ever wonder what the guards get up to between seasons...?
https://t.co/xTtXoCtrrm

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

Enjoy @Denmark with Gavin the Guard's City Breaks @GoVisitDenmark @squidgame @VisitCopenhagen @citybreakscast @cphpost @byunghun_0712

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

Enjoy @Denmark with Gavin the Guard's City Breaks @GoVisitDenmark @squidgame @VisitCopenhagen @citybreakscast @cphpost @byunghun_0712

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@AngelArmy150232 @jodiehammondlee @ProudAFAmerican And there we have it. Where did you hear that the UK banned JK Rowling? It’s simply not true.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@AngelArmy150232 @ProudAFAmerican Please don’t come. We can live without morons.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@DefiyantlyFree I know!! The price of jam these days! And oooh the weather.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@1_snatcher55993 @tipofwudan Yes and yes.

[Bricktop_NAFO @Bricktop_NAFO]

‘Why The British Don’t Like Trump’🇬🇧

- Written by Nate White🇬🇧

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@IKEA you have a product in your Aalborg store, that apparrantly it can't be sent to another IKEA store (ideally Copenhagen). Is there a reason it can't be sent to another store, or available for home delivery?

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@wirecelery @KoehlerChuc @JoeTalkShow Yep, dangerous before and during / not dangerous after the event, you fucking moron.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@balbert49 @KoehlerChuc @JoeTalkShow ‘He succeeded in making us look very sloppy!’ 🤣🤣🤣
It’s the sloppy people who need to take responsibility for their sloppiness, not the journalist who exposed it, ffs. 🤦‍♂️

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@JohnnieJ1971 @TheAtlantic Yeah right. Just like this joke hasn’t been told before - https://t.co/Ci2a9HYN3h

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@jonsopel @lewis_goodall @maitlis Do you think someone’s been watching Airplane recently?

https://t.co/Ci2a9HYN3h

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@Radiohead fans, name the song.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

Great to see both Asani and Ajeti playing tonight. @itvfootball @England

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@Debbie802569078 Ermmmm, no. Arrogance and ignorance on an enormous scale. Back to history class.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

Oh just fuck off, @POTUS , you awful, awful, morally bankrupt cunt. https://t.co/6kGBLrNzHc

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@StahpAndStare @NoContextHumans Good timing, they’re getting very cheap. Can’t think why… 🧐

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@Chrissyghoran1 @RasmusJarlov I like this and approve of the sentiment. However, the picture makes it look like the chap's willy has just exploded.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@GlamGrafter @SethAbramson You’re completely right. It should say ‘CUNT’ and then it wouldn’t risk being false.

[Ant Carr @carrstablewater]

@RodolfoYoshii @KanekoaTheGreat Like on Jan 6th?