carson

| Romans 8:38-9 | dr pepper connoisseur |

[carson @carson_renee99]

why do i need a job can’t i just be a stray cat in greece

[carson @carson_renee99]

the sphere didn’t have to go to work today but i did?

[carson @carson_renee99]

if you think i’m gonna sit and wait on you to back into a parking spot, you better think again buddy

[John Rosenberger @JohnJohnPhenom]

When I walk in the Olive Garden

[carson @carson_renee99]

don’t jump to conclusions?? baby i got my moonshoes on

[carson @carson_renee99]

so you’re telling me nobody gets even a lil carsick in the indy 500?

[carson @carson_renee99]

something about 80° and sunny really brings the lawnmowers out of midwesterners

[carson @carson_renee99]

i’m a girls girl, but if you say something even a little silly my friends and i will sarcastically recycle it until the day we die

[carson @carson_renee99]

no it’s fine it’s just that i found a tiny onion in my food and now i can’t eat for the rest of the day

[carson @carson_renee99]

a lot of people don’t giggle at my lil jokey jokes. but that’s okay. i get the jokes. i giggle

[carson @carson_renee99]

i rlly need for gps to have a “no left turn” option i can choose. i can’t keep turning left. enough is enough

[carson @carson_renee99]

nobody:
me: i have a pinterest board for this

[carson @carson_renee99]

good morning i just tried to write the word better but then wrote butter and stared at it because i knew it wasn’t right but couldn’t figure out why

[carson @carson_renee99]

if the drive is more than 15 minutes you need a lil car drink sorry i don’t make the rules

[carson @carson_renee99]

i’m so sorry but who’s out there actually buying weather channel premium

[carson @carson_renee99]

the world would be a better place if Tim Allen was president

[carson @carson_renee99]

my bedroom fan just died and now my life is ruined

[carson @carson_renee99]

can’t believe mormons don’t believe in drinking caffeine but they believe in sharing the same husband between four women

[carson @carson_renee99]

would you need a pilots license or a drivers license for a flying car

[carson @carson_renee99]

nobody:
ohio on the fourth of july: 📢“don’t drive star spangled hammered” 📢

[carson @carson_renee99]

for teacher appreciation week, i got bit, hit, kicked, spit on, and cussed out by my four year olds but at least i got a bag of unpopped popcorn as a gift from admin!