Atty. Carson Jones

Public Defender, MSU College Of Law Grad., MSU Alumni w/ a B.A. in Criminal Justice, Horror Film Fan (he/him)

[Deterio 🦍🇵🇸🔻 @NxtDeterio]

What has gone wrong with people to where any sense of theater etiquette is completely gone?? went to see the spongebob squarepants movie and a crew of rambunctious pirates filled my theater and were yelling and throwing popcorn and even giving commentary at key parts of the movie

[Atty. Carson Jones @carsonjones39]

The OJ trial absolutely messed up the public perception of what a criminal defense lawyer does in unforeseeably incomprehensible ways

What do you mean you, THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY, would give the jury your client’s backpack and inform them the murder weapon was in there?

[Keala Kelly @KealaKelly]

If I were the defense attorney, I would put the gun, notebook, and the rest in a replica of that puny little backpack, pass it around the jury box, asking each juror to remove the notebook and everything but the gun, magazine, etc, and ask if they would've missed the gun.😀

[Nir Golan @lawheroezV2]

Tech bros: “lawyers want agents that will draft, review, and negotiate their complex contracts autonomously end to end. “

Lawyers: “let me print out the contract to make sure that I didn’t miss anything in Word on the screen. “

[emilie @emiliepfrank]

republicans did not mar-a-la-go to the polls

[Robert Anderson @ProfRobAnderson]

Dang, Chief Justice Roberts looks like he's aged 20 years since he joined the Court.

[Jum @JesterJum]

Once I became a parent, I finally understood that Star Wars scene where Yoda gets so tired of answering all of Luke's questions that he just dies.

[Tommy Castor @TweetsFromTommy]

Me watching Bad Bunny not understanding a single word but digging the vibe.

[Atty. Carson Jones @carsonjones39]

Living through the 1,213th WINDS OF WINTER “COMING SOON” announcement

[westerosies @westerosies]

George R.R. Martin says he’s behind on his book writing:

“I have to write more Dunk and Egg. There’s supposed to be another Fire and Blood book, too. I do think if I can just get some of these other things off my back, I could finish The Winds of Winter pretty soon. It’s been made clear to me that Winds is the priority, but … I don’t know. Sometimes I’m not in the mood for that.”

(source: https://t.co/8LBR5bPick)

[C.Jay Engel 🌲 @contramordor]

I’m going to steal the President of Venezuela.

[andi (twocents.com) @Nexuist]

JK Rowling naming a Russia-aligned Hispanic defense minister: Vladimir López

[Atty. Carson Jones @carsonjones39]

I think a lot of the comparisons between Stranger Things Season 5 and Game of Thrones Season 8 are nonsense, but it is very funny for me that they both had this same issue (i.e. the Starbucks Cup)

[💌 @strangesapphics]

as someone who has praised this show SO highly for years now this devastated me

[liz ★彡 @sunseekeer]

canonically accurate feeling of seeing someone from high school

[Atty. Carson Jones @carsonjones39]

Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married 🧨

[Janberk @KeremJanberk]

youre laughing?? this man is about to perform the first successful pokemon go-to the polls, and youre laughing?

[KJ @normbore]

random person $200k in law school debt takes a job making $50k/year to stop poor ppl disproportionately being put in cages and tortured

twitter: this reminds me of the time hitler killed millions of jews

[hottiepants @punishedpants]

people mad at this are forgetting we will not have cancer or HIV anymore because shake shack is cooking their fries in beef tallow now