Carly Shannon

Mizzou '17. UMKC School of Dentistry. #GoTeeth

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

Trainer: so your fitness goals?

Me: well my diet is 75% donuts&cookies but want 2 look dec in a swimsuit

Trainer: haha, impossible.

Me:

[Viorica Marian @VioricaMarian1]

I once taught an 8 am college class. So many grandparents died that semester. I then moved my class to 3 pm. No more deaths. And that, my friends, is how I save lives.

[Howard Mittelmark @HMittelmark]

Shazam, but for people you're talking to whose name you're supposed to know.

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

In middle school, Justin Timberlake said in a magazine that he didn’t like it when girls put too many “!” marks in texts bc it made them seem fake.

Over 10 years later I still think would Justin Timberlake think this message is fake before sending it.

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

S/o to my roommates ex. Only met you once but I miss you too boo.

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

Alright so stick with me here...the teletubbies meme flirting technique might have failed..quite badly..but new pitch for y’all:

Pretending to be a hot tube expert. Its got street cred. Awards. Not to mention hot tubs! How’s everyone feeling on this? I think it’s got potential

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

@megsd_123 It hurts

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

Note to self: sending numerous Teletubby memes does not work as a flirting technique.

Looks like its back to the drawing board guys...however before we completely trash it can someone appreciate I made a PO-synaptic membrane

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

Dear Last Season Girl Scout Cookies My Roommate just lets sit in our pantry,

I havent forgotten about you.

XOXO,
Ill come for you soon....

[NBC Olympics & Paralympics @NBCOlympics]

The Norway men's curling team was in the #ValentinesDay spirit today. #WinterOlympics

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

Hell, but it is actually just reformatting a Microsoft word document for eternity.

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

@sydney_campo Would you rather have ppl think you’re learning to drive or that you’re managing a mortgage with two kids?

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

I made a guy guess how old I was.

He guessed 31.

Note to self: never have a male guess your age.

#ThirtyandFlirty

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

@TayKaye22 lets ride bby

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

@DylanJW1013 Its a dark dark day today

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

@janakarenina_ Right?? Where are they getting this money? Who decided on trivia? And finally, why is the hosts facial hair straight from the hunger games??

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

Anyone else feel like HQ is actually just a Black Mirror episode?

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

Anyway all this to say is that one robot altered this girls life forever & I am incredible stressed now about it & about robots in general but I still kinda wanna buy an Alexa bc they do look cool on TV

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

AND THEN EVENTUALLY we’ll die&then on her grave it’ll say “Alexa” and then you know some kids skipping space school in 2096 are going walk by & look her headstone& crack jokes like “haha Alexa play dead” or something else dumb…

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

And then eventually we’ll get older and then people will FORGOT a time when there wasn’t an Alexa sell they’ll be like ohhh are you named after the like google Alexa and she’ll have to explain to actual people that no in fact robots didn’t always run the universe

[Carly Shannon @CarsonLeighS]

Also rest of her life ppl r going be like oh haha ur named Alexa that must be weird does it get u 2 confused & she’ll have 2 say oh haha yeah super weird or nah its fine&then tell a story about Alexa doing some weird robot magic when someone asked if she wanted a drink at a party