Carson Black

mom tweets & housewives opinions

[Vegas Golden Knights @GoldenKnights]

FIRST NHL GAME, FIRST NHL GOAL!!!!!

HAVE A DAY, MASON MORELLI!!!!!!!!!

[Vegas Golden Knights @GoldenKnights]

IT’S A GREAT DAY TO BE MASON MORELLI!!!!

btw he’s officially the 🪨 emoji because he rocks!!!!

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

The only thing preventing me from eating an entire batch of those pillsbury holiday cookies is the privacy to do so.

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

I think my TikTok feed starts repeating is my phone’s cute lil way of giving me an intervention 🤡

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

I don’t often come on this app anymore but when I do it is a 🗑🔥

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

@ljcharley_11 @CaucasianJames Still is.

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

How do parents of young children operate past bedtime? I am broken by 8 PM, can someone please tell my housework?

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

Seems particularly offensive that we had a formula shortage as soon as my milk supply ran out, and then again a Tylenol shortage at the peak of teething & cold/flu season. 🫠

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

Casually looking for style inspo online and cannot believe how many people go to work (?) in crop tops

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

He needed an education after this debacle

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

Nothing sums up my marriage quite like me screaming about the monarchy while I follow my husband through Menards

[Sydney Sims-Walker @SydneyRSims]

The perfect commercial doesn’t exist…

#RHOBH #RHOA #RHONJ

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

@earizona_ Shit.

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

I think the pandemic has taught me to completely loathe being in public. Remotely a crowd? Retreat. Time to go back in my cave.

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

Overheard at Target:
No, I did not promise you could get 2 toys. I said you could get 1 toy and you said you wanted 2.

Another:
I need you to stop talking. Mommy has a lot of thoughts in her head and she needs to be able to think them.

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

Like OB nurses. It’s their job to call me back and send in my prescription but I just LOVE THEM for taking the time.

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

What disease do I have that makes me want to immediately send flowers to anyone that helps me even though it’s their job to do so like am I ok?

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

I don’t think a single mother is sleeping soundly tonight.

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

To the woman at the restaurant turning around multiple times to shake her head at my child and her tablet while her child read a literal novel… (and her husband scrolled his phone)

GOOD FOR YOU

[Carson Black @carsonmblack]

This 5 day weekend has just been me changing my pajamas every few days and not breathing fresh air once