Today my MD walked by and gave me shit because I was on my phone. I said he would be on his phone too if he was young still and wheeling all these thots. He said he’s been married for 42 years. I called him a chopped unc. He said he didn’t know what that meant. I said 6 7 old man
Hey girl you want to come ove r I’ve been drinking Jameson on the rocks and I’m watching Empire Strikes Back and we’re only at the scene where Han Solo cuts open the taun taun #smellsbad#fromtheoutside
Force all the tasty ingredients of his sandwich to the back corner of the bread, he’ll work towards that.
Good, he’s nearing the last bite. Right as he goes in make everything slide out the back and fall to the ground.
Gave a presentation to some big prospects today. On every slide I overlayed a picture of Sydney Sweeney’s huge rack at 5% opacity - too faint to see with the human eye but the lizard brain neocortex picks it up slightly. Unbeknownst to them, I was simultaneously spiking their dopamine and decreasing cortisol as their eyes were fixed on my PowerPoint.
Needless to say I made some big life insurance sales today #game