Emily McCarron

actress, singer, comic, dyslexic writer, mermaid fairy unicorn. if I can make you laugh or smile then my day was awesome. I’d love a new writing partner.

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

I managed to evacuate with a velvet rope but without warm shoes or socks. Panic moves!

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

I’m safe. But, still unhinged from evacuating so my jokes are currently super dark

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@VDOOZER One of my favorite shows!!!!

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@tweetsandboobs As a toddler I already wanted to wear satin, silk, lace, and/or velvet everyday. And that hasn’t really changed, & wasn’t what the adults around me were wearing.

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@rainnwilson 🤣

[Netflix @netflix]

Will Ferrell and his close friend, former head writer at SNL, Harper Steele embark on a cross-country road trip together after Harper comes out as a trans woman in the documentary film, WILL & HARPER. In select theaters this September and on Netflix September 27.

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@Vanessa_ABee What selfish dumb jerks! Bad decisions for the baby! Themselves. & everyone on the flight! They don’t even know the ripple effect of bringing a sick baby on a flight to pressed the germs around! & the germs the baby picked up with its defenses already down!

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@joel_eisenberg They both suck. Rip out your heart.

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@VDOOZER @AppleTV If you are a part of making it, I’m watching it! #BadMonkey

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@elonmusk It’s so ugly it makes me mad! In my heart and soul I want cars to look sexy!!!! Safety is imperative, classic cars were safe and sexy.

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@broadwaybabyto It’s crazy how lucky I got. The ER doctor said I would have died in my sleep that night. I was her last patient of the night, & she’d just learned about my rare illness that afternoon!

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@AppleTV when my subscription ends on the 27th can I get the 3 free months that’s supposed to come with my TV?

[.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin]

i’m staying single until a guy writes me an essay on why he would like to be in a relationship with me.

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@NatalieKelda It’s based after my political activist lesbian mom!

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

I’ve had a lot of gay sex but the gayest thing I’ve EVER done is drive my ex-girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s girlfriend to the airport.
and the VERY gayest thing I’ve ever done is that she is my ex-girlfriend now too

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@Dopegame_Fresh @ArtOfDialogue_ I had men give me a laced joint when I was 16. They were also smoking it. It hit quick so I was lucky to get out of there. They had a bunch of it so it probably didn’t hit them as hard because they had built up a tolerance.

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@bashour_nazira Unless you get a gay cat who has a type! My gay kitty meow loved calm quiet men, I got fooled into thinking some of them were nice guys because my cat was in love with them, 😂

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@JaimePrimak It depends on the cat! And if you constantly clean the litter box and vacuum it won’t smell! & I mean if you are home and there anything in the box clean it, use litter liners, and regularly clean the whole kitty litter area. Cats are amazing, & worth it!

[Emily McCarron @cartwheeljoy]

@Yawp97 Just make sure they are regularly going to the academic advisor. When I first got to CC, I just took whatever classes I was interested in, & was disappointed to find out how many of them were not working towards transferring. I was 15, didn’t know what I was doing.