Carver Scott

Welcome to The World According to Carver!

No refunds.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

If I had a dollar for every bottle of water I've gotten out of the fridge, then forgot about half drank I'd be able to afford all this water

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

Go�� https://t.co/cNdwx2gtU7
@justxjojo @joordanmaarie @HateThyHate @SarahiSchapiro @lindagrim1986 @ArchieAlexmead @ReghinaD31 @JAYZclassicBars @pjoconnell13 @Reeyore314

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

Go�� https://t.co/cNdwx2gtU7
@justxjojo @joordanmaarie @HateThyHate @SarahiSchapiro @lindagrim1986 @ArchieAlexmead @ReghinaD31 @JAYZclassicBars @pjoconnell13 @Reeyore314

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

@_HoboJohnson Quite a few songs on there has helped me navigate some difficult times lately, thank you for that bud. 👍

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

@Jeannebugg I've always found you such a kind person.
In our random encounters. Thanks for keeping the standard above average bud.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

At 6:48 in the morning does anyone else sometimes wonder how close is the nearest chicken sandwich, and then wonder who smoked all their weed?

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

It's quite an experience to return to Twitter after five years considering the last time I was on here I was stoned constantly in college.
I want to personally apologize for like a third of that.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

Hey man I know you've been dealing with a lot lately but I just watched your new Gus Johnson video and really enjoyed it. Laughed, and felt.
The last five minutes for sure. Keep doing your thing bro, looking forward to it :)

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

@Gusbuckets You're one of the best, most consistently laugh out loud content creators on Youtube bar none, and when I see you team up with Sugar Pine 7 I get so happy! Thank you for the smiles bro! :)

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Just saw the updated Charlie Brown special where they grind up the Great Pumpkin to flavor someone’s latte.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

#SP7ForStreamys
Rest in peace Autumn's ass.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

@JoeySalads Just saw what you did on the H3H3 stream, that took big balls! Good job man, thanks for raising charity money!

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

The two things that will win me Tinder dates is my height and Harambe memes, #rip

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

@CarverScott this is why I fucking drink

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

Within 10m of my first class I had already given a 2m speech on medicinal marijuana, everyone clapped, and had 5 compliments on what I said.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

My nursing class is about a 6:1 girl to guy ratio, and 2 of the 3 other guys are big and nerdy looking fellas. I'm loving the attention tbh.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

The best part of sobriety is the relapse, in my experience.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

@Friskies I'm unsure how a paper flyer promoting your products is nutritious, but you're the experts.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

@Friskies I'm unsure how a paper flyer promoting your products is nutritious, but you're the experts.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

Been trying to cut back on my drunk posts, ergo I never post anything anymore lmao. It's better for everyone this way.

[Carver Scott @CarverScott]

@jacksofcydonia I like the one with carpet