Cassidy Curtis

I'm only here to stalk my own tweets.

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

I think I have good judgement, and then remember all the men I've dated who used Anchorman quotes as a crutch for an actual personality

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

smoking a j with my bf and the world melts away

[a. @sapphicmacbeth]

absolutely insane

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

no celebrity will be cooler to me than the girl i just saw rollerblading out of 7 eleven with a pack of cigarettes. then i watched her blade 3 blocks while smoking. no knee pads, but a huge gnarly scab on her knee tells me this isn’t her first rodeo. it’s 7am.

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

@HeyForty get ur freak on

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

do you guys know how many inventions i would’ve invented if i just simply knew science. once i understand science its over for you hoes.

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

taking up 60+ minutes of a weeknight group hangout to tell a single story is inconsiderate and a gross monopolization of your friend’s valuable time off. (unless i do it)

[Oysters Clams & Cockles @ClamsAndCockles]

On today’s show, @WRBolen and @BarrettDudley digest the season 2 finale of “House of the Dragon” — The Queen Who Ever Was. #HouseoftheDragon

Apple Podcasts: https://t.co/7WVQtENiGL

Listen on Spotify: https://t.co/AAlcdfX05L

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

@HeyForty nooooo

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

the crossover i never expected

[C. S. Lewis @CSLewisDaily]

True love is one of God’s greatest gifts ❤️ Congratulations to Eminem’s daughter, Hailie Mathers, on her recent engagement!

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

the punishment for being a white woman is that you will date 3 guys named Andrew, 2 guys named Mike, and one Tanner. and you have to marry one of them.

[Allison Raskin @AllisonRaskin]

We're expected to have standards for our romantic relationships. But shouldn't we have standards for our friendships too?

ARE WE (FRIENDSHIP) COMPATIBLE? https://t.co/SCUdXHh2FP

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

me showing up to thanksgiving in my yassified fall fit

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

no im not bleaching my eyebrows and neither should you.

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

Devastated to find out that hot, funny people (me) still get targeted by parking enforcement.

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

@HeyForty noooo

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

calling the 2 days before my period “my depression era”

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

@CourtneyCox93 @selfcareclaire_ yes!! I think it would actually translate to more sales too, and less returns. I’m more likely to buy and less likely to return if I get an accurate idea of how the clothes will actually translate on my body

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

I don’t know her but I love her

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

back by popular demand. my own personal, relentless demand to be popular at all costs.

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

I miss those 2 days after I binged queens gambit. I really thought i was gonna teach myself chess lol

[Cassidy Curtis @cassidy_croft]

I hate when restaurants are like “is the entire party here?” before they seat you for your reservation. you think I have control over my friends’ time management?

just seat me and give me a margarita 😭 we’ll stress about when they’re gonna get here together sir