professor finesser

eat that dick up even when i’m goin vegan. ancient astronaut theorist. backup burner. stupid bitch safe space. minion enthusiast, abortionist, misandrist

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

@atrupar Mamdani’s commitment to wearing a suit no matter what is so funny to me. Button up, tie, knicks jersey, suit jacket. It’s hilarious you have to love it

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

Bumper sticker in front of me rn “Jesus is coming. Look busy!” LMFAO

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

The only 2 cute guys at my run club followed me on strava yesterday #finally but got the instant ick because they both have like 200 followers like OK queen!

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

I can’t wait to never ride my bike again after July. Except for tour de taste but that’s different

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

My life consists of loving cats, minions, and the color yellow while hating cycling as a forced cyclist

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

Sped up walking videos are so funny to me

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

I’m so glad my cat is a girl. I can’t imagine having a man in my house omg

[Acyn @Acyn]

Massie: When did bipartisanship become a dirty word? By the way, I’m not even sure I’m bipartisan. “Bi” means you like both. I might be transpartisan because I can’t identify with either some days. That’s the good thing about the polls being closed—they can’t run an ad where I claim to be trans.

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

Both genders

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

I can spot a pick me purely by physique

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

FedEx is so fucking trash I hate them. I have never received a package on the scheduled delivery date. EVER!! It always arrives days later box all fucked up

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

This white girl at my gym has dreads. Probably the only person who does within 150 miles. And i thought her bf was her dad but then i saw them kiss. So

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

@6foot8jesu83951 @KnJFBAllDay @paleochristcon What is she submitting to if she makes more than you? Asinine take.

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

@MAGAVoice Trump is fat as fuck. No one thinks he looks younger.

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

@iky_fwjett Sorry diva omfggggg I’m stealing that

[miss worm @missus_wormy]

Every hot woman has a lifetime ban from tinder

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

When ppl say their “heart is so full” wtf does that even mean

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

Losing weight while on a weight loss drug is not impressive. You’re not on a fitness journey you’re artificially suppressing ur appetite and temporarily changing ur appearance. Go off the meds and the weight is back in 6 months

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

Asking the butcher to divide up frozen poke tuna for me im so sorry sir I’m sure this is hella annoying for u. But who eats 1lb of poke tuna in 1 sitting be for real

[professor finesser @cat_petter]

Universal studios Brazil has Minionland…………………