dlyan

mostly satire

[dlyan @catchahommy]

My mom yelling over the phone now that i’ve moved out

[dlyan @catchahommy]

@funnyusername30 Wouldn’t be surprised if they make you pay for Online separately too

[dlyan @catchahommy]

The sky is always empty why do they keep crashing those little vehicles

[Pubity @pubity]

Music artist Oliver Tree has died in a helicopter crash at age 32 after 2 helicopters collided with each other mid-air.

[dlyan @catchahommy]

i do NOT want carcasses in my McDonny’s

[Snackolator @snackolator]

McDonald's is testing HAND BREADED McSpicy *Chicken Wings* and showed them off at their national convention as a potential upcoming menu item. 🍗🔥

These were really tasty when I had them a few months why - would you try them??

[tendollar @tendollardanny]

there has to be more to life than being a handsome genius that everyone’s in love with

[dlyan @catchahommy]

@frenchmaidrp You need to up your muslim ranking

[dlyan @catchahommy]

i told my connect at nvidia all this AI chip nonsense is gonna blow over and bust. we need to put ALL our focus on the sex robots

[dlyan @catchahommy]

Girls don’t even let you explain anymore

[TMZ @TMZ]

Khloe Kardashian recalls punching Lamar Odom after finding him smoking crack.

Video: https://t.co/7zeN6sfrEN

[dlyan @catchahommy]

@frenchmaidrp the market is a bit oversaturated right now, but look into building AI data centers

[dlyan @catchahommy]

@funnyusername30 @the_pemis straight men don’t open their mouths that wide

[dlyan @catchahommy]

Don’t matter how many times you wipe a toilet seat it’s still a toilet seat

[Sophie Rain @sophieraiin]

2 is better than 1

[dlyan @catchahommy]

Oh-oh, think it’s time for a new pfp

[TMZ @TMZ]

🚨 "Looksmaxxing" streamer Clavicular has been arrested for battery in Florida.

Exclusive details: https://t.co/q85hFxgg00

[dlyan @catchahommy]

@sdhgsdlfjghs call the hospital

[dlyan @catchahommy]

@evilvillain1231 crazy but necessary

[dlyan @catchahommy]

@stupidcenobite wee

[dlyan @catchahommy]

Lord if you fuck with me you’ll flip that mothafucka

[Disclose.tv @disclosetv]

NEW - Scientists at CERN transport antimatter for the first time ever. 92 antiprotons, in a custom designed bottle that trapped the particles using magnetic and electric fields, took a 30 minute journey in the back of CERN’s truck.

[dlyan @catchahommy]

@earlywuckcrisis @ideafucker the underground is toxic as hell rn everyone is a music critic that shits on artists every day lol i wouldn’t rush to put out music either you’ll just get hate

[dlyan @catchahommy]

Great a job where i have to go to work

[Indie Game Joe @IndieGameJoe]

Two indie devs made a game where you run your own video store in the early 90s. It’s currently the #5 top-selling game on Steam.

- Rent out VHS tapes & manage customers
- Charge Late & Broken Fees
- Upgrade & customise your store

It’s called Retro Rewind - Video Store Simulator

[dlyan @catchahommy]

I’ve spent so much of my one chance at human life just doom-scrolling

[Dick Miller, M.D. @BJones18245]

What’s your 5 beer plan? Where do you see yourself in 5 beers?

[dlyan @catchahommy]

@merakixr ewww lol