𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓

Dying before march 2030 if I dont reach my UGW since then.

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

⠀:¨ ·.· ¨:⠀@catkals_
⠀ `· . Mykola ﹒ 21ꜝ
⠀⠀✚ ₊⠀FR/ENG ₊ Restrictive with a bit of purging₊ chronic insomniac (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) ₊ in the process of being diagnosed w/ a lot lol ₊ NSFW accounts DNI!!!!

#edtwt #shtwt #promotwt #venttwt

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

@Blurrymirage i have a shorter day tomorrow, so i think i can push through tomorrow and then its th weekend, but gen i slept almost the entire day 'til now and i feel less in the fog, its insane

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

i keep nearly falling asleep at work, i hate it
i really want to quit to have a normal sleep schedule, to try to be as close to a normal person as possible

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

lost weight again, yay

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

with my first sips of water of the day. its 10pm almost

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

finally took my meds

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

i didn't take my meds yesterday, i really have to take them today I'm already miserable and i'm JUST in the changing rooms...
I want to go home

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

@Blurrymirage I hope too 🫂🫂

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

i might be sick

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

@Blurrymirage Nah :(
Wish i could but we're already understaffed compared to the other shift teams (even if there's no work to do, they still refuse days off....)

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

hearing my grandma talk all the time about how its "not like that they'll lose weight" or that its "not good behaviour to have eaten an ice cream" makes my blood boil and triggers me so much

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

at work and i genuinely do not feel good
I want to go home

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

i don't like how much i'm avoiding saying goodnight in the evening, but i dont want to kiss everyone in this apartment multiple times bc its how we do it...
So i only said goodnight to my mom who dropped off smth in my room before i got to bed.
i hate not saying good night to dad

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

so glad they're not here tomorrow noon so i can either barely eat or fully skip

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

i just got reminded why i really dont like spending more than one day with my grandparents.
Constant comments on food intake, weight, weird comments on people's children they know (about a heavily disabled kid tonight)..

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

overdosing today, not to a dangerous point but i'm upping my prescription by myself 'til my grandparents are not home anymore

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

but I'm back on my meds, no more overdosing on alprazolam to compensate
instead of 3 a day i was at min of 5a day to compensate paroxetine

[𝐌𝐲𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚 - 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐖𝐓 @catkals_]

grandma wanti'g me to be forced in taking a picture of myself bc i had pretty clothes on pissed me off earlier