Corey Tomlinson

D.C. Sports & Frozen Pizza Connoisseur

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@Nationals I’d be cool with never seeing Mitchell Parker pitch again.

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

Nobody puts the Nats in the corner (8 times in a row)

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

How am I supposed to look my daughter in the eye and tell her I’ve never been in a full-on karate brawl. #CobraKai

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

Didn’t realize my “drink for ‘fracking’”rule was going to absolutely fuck my night.

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@Amtrak it would be nice to, just once, have my train depart on time. But thanks for letting us sit here for an hour with no updates. #151NortheastRegional

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@fairfaxparks Try using incognito mode, that’s how I was able to finally register on my phone.

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

“This will be our little secret,” I whispered to the box of Frosted Mini Wheats at midnight.

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

“I put all the blame on myself…FOR BELIEVING IN THIS TEAM.” -Tom Brady tomorrow, probably.

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

Drink every time Washington punts. Wait no, don’t, lol could you imagine?

[Rachel Sher @yes_imsher]

.@VaRailExpress 5 hours now I’ve been on this train. No food. No water. No communication. And we’re still sitting here. What are you going to do to make this right?

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

.@VaRailExpress I’ve been on the train for 4 hours. I get that storms can cause disruptions, but this is unacceptable. Thanks for the free voucher, though. I got one last week too for delays, but tbh would just prefer an on-time ride home for once.

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@Nywah @AyeAyeAndrew Wait it’s not just a movie?

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@soup_princess And here’s another “like” for it

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

I don’t like flying without my girlfriend. The rando guy next to me did NOT want to hold my hand during takeoff.

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@Piarda Omg

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@Piarda Do you not* make bread blankets during blizzards?

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@Piarda I do the same thing when I’m walking with people

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

Me on a reality tv show playing board games: “Hey I know the cameras are on but could you take this more seriously?”

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@Piarda @Buck I believe he’s contractually obligated to have one per quarter, plus whatever Aikman doesn’t finish.

[Corey Tomlinson @catomlinson89]

@nellyfan711 All elevated heart rates are created equal