Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️

Adult - Human - Female
I won’t answer DMs

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@steonthesea 🤦🏻‍♀️ Canberra IS the capital of Australia 🇦🇺

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

I share this opinion. I think that the government is encouraging people to stockpile because they have a sense of what is coming.

I also think that they will allow it to happen because it gives them power to implement special measures (as you stated - Marshall Law).

Elections = cancelled

Digital IDs = will become necessary

Restricted movement = COVID was a test run

And much more!

Believe me, I am no conspiracy theorist but this is all becoming a bit too strategically real.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@Nic_Corr @thenowherephoto @debbiebarr43 That’s what we have been encouraged to do by our own government - stockpile essential items.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@Sosban_in_Exile @ChrisTerfIsland @sharrond62 1. They are not protests, it is the start of a civil war.
2. They are left wingers, the biggest supporters of undocumented migration from Islamic states.

Open your fckn eyes 👀

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@ChrisTerfIsland @sharrond62 I completely agree with this.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@sharrond62 And there’s a reason why we have been encouraged to stockpile essential items.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

There’s a saying:

“If you put a frog in a pan of boiling hot water, it will immediately jump out because it knows danger. If you put a frog in a pan of tepid water and gradually turn up the heat, it won’t notice the danger until it becomes uncomfortable. Then it will be harder to escape.”

The same theory can be applied to a relationship with a narcissist. They won’t be a narcissist when you meet them. They will be everything but a narcissist. There will be no heat and everything will be comfortable.

Then they “turn up the heat” (manipulate, gaslight, triangulate, deflect, project) gradually and slowly.

When you notice the change in temperature, it becomes uncomfortable. They know this so they pause or even turn it down by a couple of degrees (also known as hoovering, pausing their behaviours, making you feel comfortable again).

You begin to feel safe in the current temperature. Once you’re locked in to that temperature, they start again.

And that’s the cycle.

The message is this:

As soon as you feel the heat, make that jump.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@Neccccy I think we should sort out our own problems before we start helping others.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@jayfer1972 @CopperCation In the UK we have been encouraged to stockpile.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@CopperCation Yep. And that is the reason why we have been encouraged to stockpile food, water and essentials.

[The Exit Code @The_Exit_Code]

What the shame was actually made of

For a long time I thought the shame was the price of having been fooled. I've come to see it differently. This is what the shame was actually made of, and what I hear from others who carried it.

1) It was misdirected. 'How did I not see this?' is the wrong question. The right one is: how did someone target me so precisely that I couldn't see it while it was happening?

2) It was built on my strengths. Loyalty. The capacity to see good in people. The willingness to work hard and give the benefit of the doubt. Those were what got exploited. They were never the flaw.

3) It kept me quiet. Shame makes you hide. I didn't tell the people who would have seen the pattern, because I was afraid of what it said about me. The silence protected the dynamic, not me.

4) It was handed to me. Every 'you're too sensitive,' every 'you made me do this,' was a small transfer of responsibility. By the end I was carrying blame that had never been mine.

5) It got louder after I left. With the daily chaos gone, there was finally room to feel it. That timing confused me. It wasn't a sign I'd made a mistake. It was a sign the fog had cleared enough to feel anything.

6) It eased when I stopped asking what it said about me. The question itself was the trap. What happened said something about a dynamic, and about the person who ran it. Not about my worth.

7) It turned into something useful. Once I stopped hiding, the shame became a reason to speak. If I'd been targeted that precisely, others had too, and most of them were still carrying the same misplaced weight.

You weren't foolish. You were read. Those are different things, and knowing the difference is where the shame starts to lift.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@JohnHann04 This is the left! And people say the right wing are the thugs. You can’t make this shit up.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@JohnHann04 And this is the reason why the British people are being encouraged to stockpile food, water and essentials.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

I refused to shrink myself. That was the problem. He couldn’t handle that I was living my life. I wasn’t cheating, I wasn’t talking to other men in an intimate way.

I had male friends but these were people who had been in my life for a long time. He knew most of them, but as soon as we were together those male friends became a problem for him. He even had an issue with some female friends (because those were the ones who saw through him).

When I look back I can see how he was slowly manipulating me to adjust myself to make him comfortable. And I allowed it, to a degree. I wanted to be reassuring, I wanted to make him feel safe.

He was a master manipulator.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@Neccccy Is this Islam or is this the far left?
Sort of the same thing as the left do support the invasion to Europe by fighting age men from the third world so I get your point but I’m not sure Islam is solely responsible.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@KaroroMitchelle THIS!!! ☝🏻

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@Neccccy France needs this woman.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

@billgwolcott Gaslighting and it is up there in the top five tools of manipulation they use to control the narrative.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

A narcissist will never give their victim any closure. Because closure means closure and therefore removes the opportunity for them to return.

I had many discards but he used the lack of closure to return and I papered over the cracks and wanted to move on with him. I was trauma bonded, big time.

I am not trauma bonded any more.

The final discard came when I confronted him about his cheating. The narcissistic rage was real. I had finally learned my lesson and he was exposed. He had nowhere to hide.

That was my closure.

[Cats and Coffee 🐈‍⬛ ☕️ @catsandcoffee75]

Let them go. Honestly, don’t fight it, don’t beg, don’t engage, don’t argue. Just let them go. It is very hard to do this but you have to be willing to focus on the long term goal and that it will be the best decision you’ve ever made.

No more drama, no more chaos, no more confusion, no more fear, no more stress.

It will be confusing at first. You have been conditioned to believe you’re the problem and that chaos is normal.

In the first two weeks I was confused. The flashbacks were frequent and real. The self blame was real. Replaying the final days, the discard, wondering if I had just kept my mouth shut would have made a difference.

After a month I started to notice a level of peace in my life, I was beginning to feel calm and in my home I noticed there was no walking on eggshells or having to filter myself. The flashbacks were still happening, mostly through bad dreams and waking up in the night.

After three months my equilibrium was restoring, I started to feel more grounded and able to think straight. The flashbacks were still happening but this was mainly epiphany moments where I would remember something and it suddenly made sense, after something not making sense. Because your mind is thinking clearly, you can see the level of detail that you missed because you were living in a state of hypervigilance.

After six months I had gotten to a point of indifference. Occasional flashbacks and I could clearly see how better my life was without the narcissist.

It’s been a year, now. I have just started to date again. I am seeing a lovely man, kind and caring, who was my friend first before we started to date.

You will bring yourself together slowly and your pieces will start to fit comfortably again. Life will be a whole lot less chaotic!

Don’t give up. Take every day as it comes. Sit with your emotions, don’t suppress them and don’t enter in to another relationship. Your heart will tell you when you’re ready to date again.