Cats doing things

Cats recognizing no authority but the highest truth. And if that be nothing, so be it.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats producing at auction the only extant fecal self portrait of Amber Heard and whispering into a megaphone pointed down an abandoned mineshaft, “We teach best what we most need to learn” as an assembly of raucous skeletons breaks into thunderous applause.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats lifting Tucker Carlson's skull from a vat of liquid nitrogen before exclaiming: STAY AT HOME

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats emerging from a vat of liquid asbestos to place copies of all extant high school Civics textbooks into the heart of a raging bonfire at the base of the Washington Monument as the moon turns to blood over the Potomac.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats atop a lone promontory addressing 7 billion dabbing skeletons at the bottom of a dried up sea: “This is an exhibition—Not a competion.”

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats emerging nonchalantly from an old-growth forest as all flags, everywhere, spontaneously combust.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats dropping a THANKS OBAMA banner in Gorky Park as Donald Trump runs into an abandoned coal mine engulfed in flames choking on a diamond.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats launching frozen burritos at a circling drone, snarling: IF YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT SIMPLY, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT WELL ENOUGH.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats indicating an abandoned church and whispering into a cup attached to a stretch of twine, "We teach best what we most need to learn."

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats shrieking: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL as an infant Christ materializes at the controls of an abandoned starship in a galaxy far, far away.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats passing through the ionosphere on the back of a Shetland pony exclaiming: I DID IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE—THE NOOKIE.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats replacing Schrödinger's poison gas with a leading brand's instant coffee as astonished theoretical physicists exclaim: TRULY REMARKABLE

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats holding Mike Huckabee’s skull, observing, “Alas, poor Michael. Pandemic Disdain took thee to thy rest."

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats breaking apart on re-entry.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats staring in slack-jawed amazement as holographic Dr. King slaps the taste out of Barack Obama’s mouth on the South Lawn.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats presenting Bono's severed head to a stunned audience as holographic Steve Jobs wails, "But I still haven't found what I'm looking for."

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats stepping from a helicopter onto the roof of the Pentagon, offering a proper salute to a pigeon, and diving into an industrial shredder.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats ringing the opening bell on Wall Street, mumbling, "Give 'em what they want." as a raging torrent of crude oil floods Lower Manhattan.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats dropping a NEVER REMEMBER banner from the Brooklyn Bridge and leaping into the East River as history folds in upon itself.

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats purchasing the collected visual works of George W. Bush at auction and addressing the assembled archivists' consortium thus: "Śūnyatā!"

[Cats doing things @catsdoingthings]

Cats selling I ♥ HEARTBLEED hoodies in front of the Washington Monument.