Casey Shea

Welcome to the Casey Show. I'm mildly amusing.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

@ae_booth Today I’m on the upswing. I had TWO pieces of toast without getting sick

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

I’ve been joking about getting a stomach virus for weeks now as an easy way to lose some weight before my wedding.
Let it be known that on 9/20/2018 the universe was like UGGHHHHHHHHHHH FIIIIINE SHUT UP ALREADY and gave me one.

I take it all back.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

Great news, everyone. I’ve thrown up three times since 11:00 AM so be sure to ask me if I’ve lost weight the next time you see me

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

Aggressive
Irresponsible
Obscene
Unreasonable

Are all adjectives I’ve used to describe the amount of @ChickfilA sauce I want to their cashiers while placing my orders.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

They literally just did it again. HOLY GARBAGE.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

That’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

@prizzmcdizz I’m realizing that maybe I grocery shop at 7:30am so no one sees how weird I am....

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

Dear Publix Cashier,

This might seem crazy, but I put my groceries onto the conveyor belt in the order in which I’d like them bagged and grouped with similar items. If my eggs are with the cold stuff for insulated bags it’s because they need to stay cold.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

@prizzmcdizz Because it’s the only logical way to put your groceries on the cart. I maybe also divide my cart down the center between cold and not cold items, and I also have my shopping list in the order I move through the store so.. yeah.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

Y’ALL HEARD IT HERE FIRST. I CALLED IT AT 7:55 PM.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

I think my *favorite* response to wedding guests telling me they bought a dress for my wedding is

OMG ME TOO!!!

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

Just asked my soon-to-be husband if I should just ride out my current iPhone contract with AT&T so that we could eventually be on our *own* family plan.

He laughed.

Long live the family plans we’ve been on for 15+ years!

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

Y’ALL. I HAVE BEEN USING ‘EST’ IN ALL MY COMMUNICATION AT WORK. AND WE’RE IN DAYLIGHT TIME. 😣😣😣

[Apple @Apple]

Join us today at 10 a.m. PDT to watch the #AppleEvent live on Twitter.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

@juliaaacpx Ok so I did the working until 10 thing.... still had emails in the morning. Teach me your ways.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

@ryanschram There is! It just opened kind of catty-corner to the Chick-fil-A on Mills. And it was ok. The breading was seasoned similar to flavors I’d use for a roast chicken, which I felt competed with the sauce.
And maybe it’s because I’m southern, but I prefer Chick-fil-A 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

Tried the new PDQ chicken place today. Chicken was fine. Most alarming part? Finding out that PDQ stands for People Dedicated to Quality and their cups says https://t.co/sKXJjbtlk4... I’m sorry.. eat... people...???
NO ONE THOUGHT https://t.co/EHIL2coXXM WAS BETTER?!!

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

I will know I have “made it” when I own a home with a kitchen large enough that my Kitchenaid mixer has its own spot on the counter

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

@chazrusso Not as betrayed as when I found out Mary J. Blige was singing “dance soirée” (incorrectly) and not “dancery” in her song “Family Affair”

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

@chazrusso Not only was it a Carnival Cruise, it was the same boat we were all on 😂

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

Got off a cruise on Sunday. As of yesterday I now have a sore, irritated throat.
Listen, Universe. I said Norovirus or nothing. I’m trying to violently lose 30lbs before my wedding, I don’t have time for this “is it allergies or not?” throat nonsense.

[Casey Shea @caybshea]

Caboodles are back and “trendy”

Which really just proves that 10 year old me was right, mom, and yeah I could have kept my old Caboodle, MOM.