Caylan Myers

-Christ Follower-Wife-Daughter-Sister-

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

my teachers convinced me I’d NEED to know the names & chronological order of our presidents to survive adulthood. I’m 26 & no one has asked me for this info-socially or professionally. can I at least get a pony for reciting their names? Or a free meal. I’ll settle for that.

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

just deleted so many old embarrassing tweets. Late teens me was weird and dramatic. Probably will delete this tweet when 35 year old me realizes 26 year old me was also weird and dramatic.

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

look, I don’t want to be that cliché 20 something fan girl- but i can’t just sit here and pretend we’re not all slightly freaking out about the new twenty one pilots music. but I’m fine. it’s fine. be cool.

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me when I was going to have kids, I’d have enough money to adopt a kid. Filters people. #infertility

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

Okay I’m finished narrating.. I felt guilty leaving that poor girl at the restaurant though. God speed and may the odds be ever in your favor lady.

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

Guy: “I can grow a full beard in a week. And I had a full chest of hair by the time I was 12.”
Okay wolverine, calm down.

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

Guys I don’t think she’s had a chance to say a single word. He won’t stop talking about himself. #awfulfirstdate

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

*insert stories of previous girlfriends and dates*
Run girl, run.

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

Guy to his date: yeah I think Quaker steak is a great place to go on a date!
#classy

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

pretty sure the couple behind us is on a first date.
Guy to waitress: oh my gosh you do look like a “Kelly”... you were a cheerleader weren’t you? *insert snicker*
More to come

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

@joshgroban singing/appearing on the Office is amazing and at the same time my heart hurts for Andy. I’m too invested in this show.

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

I never imagined I’d be so thankful for extra long jumper cables that I got for Christmas. #adultingishard

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

@deanfulks wrecked me today. I will choose to praise the Creator and love His creations. If the stars were made to worship, so will I.

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

The Office. Round 10. Here we go! Yes, Netflix, I’m STILL watching.
#ihaveaproblem

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

overheard a little girl in the store say "mommy she looks like Anna!" and I've never been so flattered. Disney dreams fulfilled! #redhair

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

never thought I'd fall so far, but they only had pumpkin spice creamer here. I used it. & I liked it. I guess I'm basic now. #help

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

"Gaston" (Beauty & the Beast)->tell me this isn't nuts: 4 dozen eggs as a kid at breakfast? 5 dozen as a man? That's a lot of freakin eggs.

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

..just spent 30 minutes watching one soldier homecoming video after another & I can't stop crying.. #ThankYouForServing

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

...idk if The Office is really leaving Netflix-but how many times can one make it thru it all before it's gone? Challenge accepted...

[Caylan Myers @caylan11]

..mad props to girls who can put makeup on (as a passenger) in a moving vehicle.. I am not one of them. #eyelinereverywherebutmyeyelid