Cassandra Heath

Coffee-drinking, workout-tolerating, toddler-raising, baby-toting, sarcasm-using piece of work.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

Idea: a tv show that’s a cross between @TheMAURYShow and @cwwhoseline, where the conflicts are all made up and the results don’t matter.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

Pretty sure I’ve said this if every single one of my kids, but it’d be awesome if this baby would nap somewhere other than on me. #stuckforever

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

If this house had official theme music, it’d be the sound of things crashing and then me yelling, “What was that?”

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

Today I played a game of “chocolate or poop?” with a mystery smudge on my one year old’s leg wherein it was actually chocolate. If that’s not a #parentingwin, I don’t know what is.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

Oh hey, it’s my #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

@Kevin_Sole Right? Not sure where/why this trend started but it can stop any time now since it’s not actually a requirement.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

@msbshoshani I was also crushed when this stopped being aired. I still make references to it. Brb calling Rusty.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

My son has been asking Alexa to sing a song all morning. Not play music, no. Sing a song. I’m pretty sure we’ve heard her whole catalog now.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

#goals

[Grace Helbig @gracehelbig]

D'aw! Thank you! I ate Doritos for breakfast! It's a great day!

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

ALSO YAS

[Borderlands @Borderlands]

Join Claptrap and his faithful companion Steve on an awe-inspiring journey across the untamed wilds of Pandora, just one of the planets you'll explore in Borderlands 3.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

YAS.

[Patrick Stewart @SirPatStew]

Picard.
#StarTrekPicard #StarTrek

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

I wonder if, since I’m required to mail these invoices because evidently printing out an email attachment is Too Much Work, I wonder if 2019 is the year carrier pigeons finally make a comeback.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

*grabby hands*

[Borderlands @Borderlands]

Join Claptrap and his faithful companion Steve on an awe-inspiring journey across the untamed wilds of Pandora, just one of the planets you'll explore in Borderlands 3.

[Bee on 🦋 @lollibeepop]

Depression Denial

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

Funny how you don’t realize how much noise your body or home makes until there’s a sleeping baby about.

[Adam Savage @donttrythis]

I once woke up an infant by standing up and the sound my cracking knees made.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

The only thing I miss about being in #yyc for the Stampede is all the free food. #eatallthepancakes

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

Same.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

tl;dr I have no patience.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

I’m in that achy place where I’m trying to fund several big ticket ventures at the same time so I have to prioritize which one I put my time and energy into realizing first ...but I wish for all of them to happen right effing now.

[Cassandra Heath @caztasm]

And then to add to the weight of that, the ever patient @i_scream_truck and I are working towards a family goal, which obviously is more important than my selfish ones.