slamblockfade

Proud dad of 4 awesome young adults. Married to the beautiful Linda. Lifetime golfer. Detroit Mercy Titan Golf Team and class of 1987.

[Brad Sparling @playgolfcollege]

Tryout Week

Tryout week is one of the most nerve-wracking weeks of the whole year, and most of what makes it hard isn’t the golf.

Boys team or girls team, it’s the same week. Your kid walks into a group where they know maybe three kids out of twenty. They don’t know who’s good. They don’t know where they fit. They’re doing the math on the range, watching the kid two spots down flush 7 irons, wondering what it means for them. Some of them are worried about letting you down and would never say it out loud.

One goes quiet. One talks too much. One is up at midnight because their brain won’t shut off.

Your intentions aren’t the problem
In 25 years of coaching I’ve never met a parent who didn’t want their kid to succeed.
Not one.

You see your kid stressed and you want to help. Staying quiet feels like doing nothing. So you say something.

“Just stick to your routine.”
“Don’t three-putt out there.”
“Shoot high 70s and you’ll be fine.”

Every one comes from love. Every one lands as pressure.

That last one sounds like reassurance. It isn’t. You just handed them a number, and now every hole gets measured against it. “Don’t three-putt” puts the exact picture in their head you didn’t want there.

That’s where the nerves come from. That’s where the lost sleep comes from. And if it keeps up, that’s where you start losing the relationship, because a kid who feels judged by their parent stops talking to them about golf at all.

Same intentions. Opposite result.

Don’t be the tugboat
A tugboat pushes. It shoves up against the ship and never stops, because the second it backs off the ship stops moving. Exhausting for both of them.

A lighthouse never touches anything. It sits up on the hill, in the dark, in bad weather, and shines. It doesn’t chase. It doesn’t panic. It doesn’t go dim when the water gets rough.

Your kid doesn’t need pushing this week. They’re already pushing harder than you know. They need to look up and see the light is on.

So give them the six words that outlast every tryout, every season, and every scorecard they’ll ever sign:

“I love to watch you play.”

Then get out of the way.
Ten years from now nobody’s going to remember what they shot this week.
They’ll remember exactly how it felt getting in the car afterward.

Five things to do this week
1. Don’t give them any instruction on how to play. None. No strategy, no reminders, no numbers, no “don’t do this.” Not on the drive over, not on the range, not on the putting green. That job belongs to their coach and to them.
2. Tell them you love them no matter what happens. Out loud, before they walk away from you. Not “good luck.” Not “play well.” Just that nothing about today changes anything between you two.
3. Tell them adversity is coming and you already know they’ll handle it. Something is going to go wrong out there. It goes wrong for everybody. Say it ahead of time so it isn’t a surprise, and tell them you have no doubt about how they’ll respond.
4. Tell them they’ll learn and grow from every round. Good one or bad one. Made it or didn’t. There’s no wasted round if they’re the kind of kid who takes something out of it, and they are.
5. Protect the car ride home. Say the six words, ask if they’re hungry, and then don’t initiate anything about the golf. Not that day, and give it 48 hours if you can. If they open the door, ask, don’t tell. No critique. Just be the lighthouse on the hill, always shining, always positive, always there.

Your instincts all week are going to tell you to instruct and to help.

Do. Not. Do. That.

Be the lighthouse, not a tugboat.

[Lance Ringler @GolfweekRingler]

With Lee McCoy departure to Florida Gulf Coast, Columbus St. is looking for a coach. Certainly one of the better D2 jobs. Maybe a D3 coach?
A few possibilities…
Grant Wallace at Kenyon
Justin Wyeth at Aurora
Mitch Fedorka at CMS
Jordan Cox at Mary Hardin-Baylor
Allen Smith at Lynchburg

[Detroit Mercy MGOLF @DetroitMGolf]

Ethan Oblak etched his name in school history by becoming just the 4th Titan to card a 66 or better #DetroitsCollegeTeam #HLGolf ⚔️🏌️‍♂️

[slamblockfade @cbatcheller1987]

@Karic_Jones That was a very well officiated game.

[Marc Ryan @MarcRyanOnAir]

The pilot on my flight was on his very last trip before retirement. He’s from Detroit.

At DTW, 100 people he didn’t know stopped to celebrate with and congratulate him because that’s what Detroiters do for Detroiters 🍻 ❤️

[slamblockfade @cbatcheller1987]

@griffin_beers2 Go Titans!

[Hobie Artigue @HeyItsMeHobie]

Two years ago, @DetroitMercyMBB won one game.

This year, the Titans had their best regular season in a decade & earned the 3) seed in the Horizon League tournament.

More from Calihan Hall on the impressive turnaround, led by a roster of Detroit-area natives.

🎥 @Local4News

[Nick Lorensen @nlorensensports]

The job that Mark Montgomery has done at Detroit Mercy this season has not been talked about enough

With its win today at Oakland, the Titans clinched the third seed in the Horizon League Tournament with 12 wins in league play (most since '13)

Titans will host Milwaukee on Weds

[slamblockfade @cbatcheller1987]

@NickPalazzolo5 Agreed. Chris Holtman has done a great job this year, but they have issues finishing games.

[The D Zone Basketball @TheDZoneBBall]

Chris Webber spoke with Carl Bow during his inaugural showcase at Calihan Hall.

Webber spoke about the event, his induction into the Hall of Fame, and what advice he would give to current players.

Webber graduated from Country Day HS before being a standout at Michigan and having an illustrious 15 year NBA career.

@realchriswebber @bow_carl

[Detroit Mercy Men’s Soccer @UDMSoccer]

OH MERCY!! @pierson_drew long-range strike checks in as #SCTop 10 #1 play!! 🚀🔥
#DetroitsCollegeTeam⚔️⚽️ #HLMSOC @NCAASoccer

[Detroit Mercy Men’s Soccer @UDMSoccer]

Clean sheet🧼 The Titan’s battle to a 0-0 draw on the road against #12 Dayton⚔️

#detroitscollegeteam

[Detroit Mercy WBB @Detroit_WBB]

Step by step, piece by piece. Home Improvements in motion 🔧 #UDMWBB #TitanUpp

[Detroit Mercy MGOLF @DetroitMGolf]

Titans Getting Ready For Fall Campaign On The Summer Circuit #DetroitsCollegeTeam ⚔️

🔗 https://t.co/wRwcHMgDXV

[Detroit Mercy MGOLF @DetroitMGolf]

. @gcnalluri @david_swab & Mason Sokolowski earn @GolfCoachesAssn All-American Scholar honors! #DetroitsCollegeTeam ⚔️🏌️‍♂️

🖇️ https://t.co/RRt1A6RCCi

[Detroit Mercy WBB @Detroit_WBB]

Once a Titan, always a Titan. Back where it all started.🏀 Get to know Coach Dro—from wearing the jersey to Assistant Coach, again! #Titanpride #Titanupp 💙🤍❤️

[Detroit Mercy MGOLF @DetroitMGolf]

Our fall slate! #DetroitsCollegeTeam ⚔️🏌️‍♂️

[Detroit Mercy MGOLF @DetroitMGolf]

Calling all Titan fans and alums!

#DetroitsCollegeTeam ⚔️⛳️

[Michael S. Kim @Mike_kim714]

US open giveaway pt 1

My awesome partner @FootJoy and I are giving away these cool US open themed shoes! Whatever size you wear.

Retweet, comment, must follow myself and footjoy to win.

[Detroit Mercy Titans @detroittitans]

Tapp, Monroe To Serve As Horizon League SAAC Representatives #DetroitsCollegeTeam ⚔️🏌️‍♀️⚽️

🔗 https://t.co/vfiBGec7Lu