Carly

I'm not a douche I just do shit

[Carly @cbeezy02]

I'm that asshole in forever 21 wearing dark orange foundation trying on tight white shirts, but not buying them

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Labor Day weekend is approaching which means I can sign off all my emails with a friendly "C U Next Tuesday" 😈

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Anyone else feel super overwhelmed when shopping for toothpaste?

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Living in Arizona, I can no longer blame my frizzy hair on the humidity. Which means there there's only one explanation- the illuminati

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Every single day I convince myself I can get ready in an amount of time that I've literally never been able to get ready in

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Getting real tired of not knowing if I should swipe my credit card, insert the chip, or punch myself in the face

[Carly @cbeezy02]

@lademblo except yours linds... Urs are different

[Carly @cbeezy02]

So @ArianaGrande thought bangs were a good idea huh. Idc who you are bangs are basically never a good idea we should know this by now

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Trying to buy a phone case on amazon and this shit pops up. "Works as kick stand" lmao who else wants one?

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Yeah I tend to stay inside on day where the temperature is higher than the average life expectancy🏜

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Excuse me, hi, I noticed you have large lion statues in front of your house, can I borrow some money?

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Parents r pissed bc I'm wearing my airplane neck pillow at my brothers HS graduation. Wake me up when it's over, tysm

[Carly @cbeezy02]

I think I'd rather watch an hour of HSN than watch an episode of house hunters with a budget less than like $300,000 in a big city

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Next person to say "sitting is the new smoking" is getting a chair thrown at their knees

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Y you gotta fight w/ me at Cheesecake

[Carly @cbeezy02]

When you get out of the cab and the driver says "enjoy the rest of ur morning". Wait a minute what 😳

[Carly @cbeezy02]

Goji berries call themselves a "super" food but I've been choking those bad boys down for weeks and I still can't fly so wtf

[Carly @cbeezy02]

@KathrynDetmer 😂😂 https://t.co/193rtPjQGf