C

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Maybe Mitch McConnell is secretly taping "The Masked Singer." We don't know.

[shaurya @shauseth]

do you think genghis khan had a dashboard to give him operational insights

[alli @sonofalli]

when my boss says “good job” instead of “go off diva you absolutely ate with that, you’re my favorite workplace icon”

[lucy ford 🍊 @lucyj_ford]

the only greek odyssey i care about is the one three men take to a wedding only to discover they might each be the father of meryl streep’s child

[? 𖦹𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 ⚄ 𝔩𝔦𝔟𝔯𝔞⓼ ✮ @_S0URCANDY]

Oh Taco Bell.. we’re just gonna sweep this one under the rug, it wasn’t your fault queen.

[Grace Cathedral Park @gracecthdralprk]

Frankly Taco Bell has built up a lot of goodwill from me. I forgive them

[Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_]

i'm not watching any greek epics that don't feature the music of abba

[winnie @gothic_whorror]

I was really concerned about the air quality until I learned it's the equivalent of smoking only 10 cigarettes

[Jared Gilman @realJaredGilman]

“odyssey this” “odyssey that” u odyssey a therapist

[our band could be your wife @grace_roso]

I swear that MSG wedding opened up an evil portal that cursed the vibes. And now the city’s covered in smog and there’s a parasite that’ll kill you if you eat lettuce.

[C @cberne]

@realmatt_re I closed yesterday and I literally had to initial the schedule. Just bc people are fucking stupid and don’t pay attention to anything doesn’t mean they were mislead.

[Meggy @igetsoinspired]

I hate looking at Hinge it’s like omg I could never love you

[Urvashi Gormat @takeiteasyUrvy]

never hookup where you vlookup

[C @cberne]

@RepJackKimble Is this satire LMAO

[timmygami eyes @deliclit]

I know im meant for something more cause jorts have never looked good on me

[C @cberne]

@mintjellybirkin He was never attractive

[Matt 🌊 @untipoo]

who suffered the most, Jesus or a gay guy with an avarage body type

[C @cberne]

I lived this during THIS CALENDAR YEAR (but it was 5th date)

[Graylen @BARACKOSWAGMA]

6th date out with this guy and he asks me if it's okay that he has a husband

[Xsidi 🇬🇷🌈 @Xsidi_]

First pride month without Ayatollah Khamenei and Charlie Kirk 💔💔💔💔

[C @cberne]

@rohmontgomery Who the fuck cares