Bougie Bastard ✨

*CERTIFIED* Slinger of Mazdas. Comedian. Actor. Celebrity Bartender. Creator of #NoShadeButItsDark

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

I think I'm slowly becoming the guy who shakes his fist in the air and yells things like "I DON'T TRUST THE BANKS!"

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

@HaleighMedusa I miss you already!

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

How I feel when @HaleighMedusa comes over & leaves.

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

@HaleighMedusa @camachogabe @levarburton I love that I know how I’m gonna look in the future! Lol 😂 😂😂

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

Who else is a doge in the dogehouse?! More like the dogemansion!! #DogecoinToTheMoon 🚀🌕

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

@jillskywalker I know! I’ve never gotten used to that. One one hand he helped shape my childhood innocence, and on the other hand he promptly crushed said innocence a scant decade later in Weeds. Talk about duality. 🤯

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

@jillskywalker Lmao! It only took you like 7 years to watch it. 😂😂

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

@trhaggard22 Thank you!

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

Just got the 2021 Mazda CX-9 Carbon Edition in at Horne Mazda. I’m in love 😍 Now that’s a BIG PAPA RIDE 😎

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

Crab cakes Benedict for brunch at the office! Thank you Crackers & Co Cafe!!! 😋

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

That moment when all your co-workers find out you have an ass tattoo. Now that’s bonding.

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

Just updated my Tinder bio to say “Imma bite your left butt cheek” can you tell what my October vibes are?

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

You ever sip a Cabernet in your laundry room in between loads? Life changing.

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

Anyone wanna tell me why I’m still at work and it’s 10 minutes to 10pm? I came in at 8am. It’s almost a whole ass new day. 😂

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

Hate out-of-state leases. That is all.

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

@coolkidfrances Nah, he pointed to the left and said “right over there brother”

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

*Bars reopen in AZ
Me: *walks up to bartender* Yes hi, can you please point me in the direction of the WAP?

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

@lovee_laurenn Lmao 😂 look you don’t ask you don’t get, right?

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

Nothing better than when a client reschedules on your day off, and you get to spend the day as intended, cleaning the house and shopping. 🧼 🛍 💳

[Bougie Bastard ✨ @CBJPComedy]

@rosesanddemons FACTS