Contessa 🌸

03.11.2017 👶🏻💗

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Stella Charlie Kaufman 🎀

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Back on Twitter due to my life being a fucking mess

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

If you know me, then you must know my daughter’s name. Which means, STOP NAMING UR PETS STELLA. It took me 9 whole months to pick out her name and y’all are really starting to piss me off lol

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

absolute terrible ending to the secret life of the american teenager

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Things change, people change, feelings change. Growth is beautiful but painful too.

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Will gave me a ride home today and as soon as we pulled up, Joe whistled and said “wow that’s a really cute girl you got in there. Where’d you find her?” I still can’t stop laughing 😂

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

I’m way too opinionated to be in any kind of fb mom group

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

I long for the day where I can live in a world with nothing man made.

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Sick of motherfuckers that can’t drive getting behind the wheel. Y’all think it’s soooo cool to treat these roads like they’re racetracks, until you hit someone’s dog and destroy their whole family.

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Patiently waiting for my crush to realize she’s lesbian and we belong together

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Hot coco, baby cuddles & Christmas movies ☕️👶🏻🎄

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Firm believer in karma & some day you’ll get what you deserve.

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

He ain’t lyin 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Yes I took my daughter to see Santa in November, no I don’t give a fuck about ur opinion, tbh I’ll prolly go 3 more times this month

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

#NewProfilePic

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Catch me screaming Bad at Love at any red light

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

I can go from having 7 lighters to 0 so fast.. where art thou

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

When mom said last pic was the last pic but then she says “one more”

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Can’t even use my new iPhone bc Joe and Stella won’t stop playing basketball on it 🙃 #itsforagoodcause

[Contessa 🌸 @ccbitccch]

Have any of y'all ever actually watched Teen Titans Go? They make kid friendly rap songs 😂