Colleen Purcell

If looks could kill you would be an uzi

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

Life isn’t short, we just waste a lot of it

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

Keep one foot in the future and the other in the living room

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“One hour I was losing it, the next hour it was candyland by the fire”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“Do you think I’m a wet noodle?” “No, you’re al dente”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

It is hardly mercy to ask a man to set his integrity aflame.

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“Honey, someday when you're a little older you will be introduced to something that is extremely seductive but fickle. A fair-weather friend who seems benign but packs a wallop like a donkey kick, and that is the Long Island iced tea.”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“Don’t meet your heroes. They’re probably 5’8”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“If anyone can be judicious, it’s Colleen”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“Leopard is my neutral”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“Never ever be the person who doesn’t do the wave. Those people die alone.”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

Doing nothing’s never nothing when it’s something with you

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“When I die, roll me in tajin before u bury me.”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

And her perfect face is the least beautiful thing about her

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

Roman Roy makes riding a golf cart look so cool

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

Oh my God, she’s fashion roadkill!

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

I like those odds

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

The way I fall in love with contestants on wheel of fortune and become so invested in their success. My heart can’t take it.

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“There are only three answers to a prayer: Yes. Not yet. And I have something else in mind for you.”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“God gave you a good face and yellow hair”

[Colleen Purcell @ccpurcell21]

“The CIA ain’t got shit on a woman with a plan”