Charlene Sullivan

Formerly of climate twitter, now mostly Catholic and parent twitter. Elder millennial. Wife of 1, mom of 4

[Joe Cassandra @JoeCassandra]

The most important thing a millennial family can do for their kids is:

1. Move to a neighborhood w/ enough young families

2. Get involved in school, church and sports

3. Let the kids 'off the leash' enough i.e. play outside w/o you having to be there the whole time

4. Invite people over to your house constantly...

This has changed our social life dramatically in just 2 years where we have many friends + our kids do too

***
#1. You must move to an area that is family centric and has young families. Do as much on-the-ground research you can of every neighborhood to figure this out.

Be willing to overspend if needed

#2. Be a part of the school as a parent whether PTA or volunteering . Do the same at church and your kids sports. People who 'lead' or 'coach' meet a lot of people very fast. Bleacher parents have a harder road.

#3. Be willing to let your kids explore the neighborhood, go knock on doors, etc. Sure, schedule some playdates, but make sure they've also met all the similar-aged kids in the neighborhood. Go to the pool in the summer and talk to people

#4. You must invite people. Those who connect people are the most magnetic. People want to be around those folks. Open your home even if it's a little messy. Doesn't need to be fancy. Order pizza for a group, people will love it.

Invite different groups over. One group is from church, another is sports parents, etc. Combine the groups at the holidays so people can meet other new folks.

This is how you build a community for your kids to thrive in.

It took us 8 years from having a kid to figure it out.

BONUS --- have more than 1 kid. Multiple kids expands your circle even more as it opens more doors to meeting new families.

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@agreatdayinnc As daunting as it seems, you are the best person to decide for your kids! We are not a homeschool family, but very engaged in our kids’ school, which makes a noticeable difference.

I thought this post offered a really good perspective: https://t.co/GucrCZrI0p

[Claire Honeycutt | ClarifiED 🕊️❤️ @HippyMomPhD]

Sat with 3 friends yesterday
Microschool
Private school
Homeschool amongst them

All had laments

Nothing will ever be perfect. Use the 80/20 rule.

Is this 80% of what we want or need? If I moved to a different situation, would I be trying to fix the 20% I don't like and losing the 80% I do love?

It's easy to see the faults. Harder to see what's working.

Don't leave your 80 for your 20

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@shortsqueeznews As an elder millennial, that $252 would only make sense to me if it included the cost of a babysitter.

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@JohnKRosemond You’re judged for any/every choice. However much effort you put in, someone’s always ready to second-guess or dismiss it for their preferences - even if they weren’t actually in your same situation with your same child. It’s harder to tune the noise out and build confidence.

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@Rockbottomless @MerriamWebster

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@maiab I think the sentiment applies more to each kid, than the total from oldest to youngest. I look at my older ones now and wonder where the time went…but in the moment, at the ages yours are, it felt endless.

There are still some sweet traces of littleness after starting school 🩷

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@MCMCD_ Maybe a Baby K’tan? I got one for my third baby (born in the mid 7 lb range) and it was nice for those early months. A little easier and (felt) more secure than a wrap/sling.

FWIW, my older two were born bigger and went straight into a structured carrier. They seem fine 😅

[Tim Carney @TPCarney]

My original headline for this piece was "Walkability is for Kids."
I mean it.
It's nice if you, grownup, can walk to work.
It's absolutely crucial that kids be able to walk to school or the playground or at least their friends' houses. https://t.co/hCh8uLPsm0

[vessel @awifeinlove]

happy mothers day everyone! if u have babies in heaven, ur belly or ur arms i am wishing u a nice pleasant day where u r showered w love and affection :)

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

Postpartum thoughts: I would have remembered a lot more of my prenatals if they came in cookie form 🍪

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@zizithebadgal It’s hardly ever fun spending, either. Always like air duct cleaning or tax prep or some other Responsible Grown-up Expense

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@JohnKRosemond Quantity varies but we try to consistently uphold quality. FaceTime with family is always a yes. Devices only used in common areas, with an adult nearby. We also tell them WHY - it’s addictive, and bad people can use it to send bad ideas / do bad things. They’re 4.5-8 currently.

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@Elliesmommyy23 Oh no I am so sorry, I just realized how my post was confusing!!! I meant I feared myself not surviving each delivery. By God’s grace, I have along with all 4 children, but the fear came back every time. Just wanted to share an example beyond weight gain…should have proofread!

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@HannahWardEdu Does she have a counterpart that’s more geared towards boys? Geronimo Stilton?

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@CaraLisette Vacuum when the baby vacuums 😜Postpartum with my 4th and I will say, choose the snuggles whenever you can. It’s all too precious and fleeting ❤️

Eatplaysay on IG/FB posted this recently that really nailed it for me. https://t.co/IctOJY8KBJ

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@audrawrongspeak The point is to validate her own (different) choices. Dismissing the sacrifices you have to make to be a SAHM just shows her lack of perspective.

Let her have her cookies / sour grapes, she doesn’t know you or your full situation.

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@emzanotti Worth a try. Even the most pea-averse would get the fine motor practice as a benefit, so I’d say you can’t lose.

Mine like it with mac and cheese, or an improvised sauce with cream of mushroom soup and ground meat. Carbonara would be delicious!

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@maiab I never knew this was a thing and was annoyed over how “long-lasting” LEDs kept burning out in our porch fixtures. Finally put outdoor rated ones in this summer and have had no issues at all since. It’s fine / nothing catastrophic, but you might spend more on replacements

[Charlene Sullivan @ccsullivan8]

@TiffaniMarie483 It is for me! And that’s ok ❤️

We are hardest on ourselves, so when it’s stressing you out, imagine what you would say to a friend in the same situation. You deserve all that kindness and grace too.