Snorey

Nicolas Cage, Soccer Ball, etc.

[Snorey @cdick97]

The person that invented salad dressing was like how do I make this bowl of vegetables sluttier

[Snorey @cdick97]

@birdsmuggler2 Ratio

[Snorey @cdick97]

The guy at Subway said “interesting choice” when I asked for green peppers and I almost jumped the counter

[Snorey @cdick97]

Soap operas are just anime for white women born during the Eisenhower administration

[Snorey @cdick97]

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” is medical misinformation. How do I sue the pro-apple people

[Snorey @cdick97]

I could beat Joe Biden in a fight

[Snorey @cdick97]

@birdsmuggler2 Most people wouldn’t have tweeted this

[Snorey @cdick97]

@srslyava

[Snorey @cdick97]

Jokes on you Elon, I’m hitting send on all the least funny tweets in my drafts. Scorched earth, baby

[Snorey @cdick97]

@birdsmuggler2 Failed ratio + L + you fell off + I’m literally a minor

[noah s @birdsmuggler2]

The only episode of Seinfeld I’ve ever seen is the bee movie

[noah s @birdsmuggler2]

Pipe cleaners are the perfect example you can be utilitarian and a little silly at the same time

[Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer]

every smashing pumpkins fan is like “theyre one of my favorite bands. got me through a tough time. you only need to listen to these three albums, everything else is shit”

[Snorey @cdick97]

@OGJoelSalmon Thanks Mr. Salmon

[Snorey @cdick97]

If you end an email with “yours truly” then I just assume we’re dating now

[Snorey @cdick97]

@KPopCharlieP Jimmy Rogimmy

[Snorey @cdick97]

Johnathan Roganathan

[Snorey @cdick97]

Make sure to don your gayest apparel tonight

[Snorey @cdick97]

Incel Jerry Seinfield:

“What’s the deal with women? I mean, how come they don’t talk to me?”

[Snorey @cdick97]

@birdsmuggler2 Okay

[Snorey @cdick97]

Telling people “The Beatles were bad actually”, then doing 83 pushups, executing a perfect kickflip, and saying “see you around kid” before sprinting back to what is clearly my mom waiting in the car for me

[Snorey @cdick97]

@birdsmuggler2 Does it feel good to be a contrarian?