Clare Disser

You look lost, follow me. :)

[Awful Announcing @awfulannouncing]

CBS Sports HQ is a throwback in the best way possible https://t.co/cBF13kxrxN

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

This Festival Staycation Packages Could Be YOURS!: https://t.co/o0rRNc7zo4

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

Not that anybody, but me is gonna care but..

It’s driving me nuts that UofH players are wearing white jerseys & all of their staff is wearing dark gray shirts

But A&M players are wearing dark gray jerseys & their staff are wearing white jackets #MarchMadnes2024 #MarchMadness

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

I am a rational person and understand that I will probably never meet @thedanieb …

… But I also just want to put it out into the world that I adore her, and think that she would be a fan of my friend group. I think she’d have so much fun hanging out with us 🤷‍♀️😂

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

Mom: have you heard of @teddyswims?
Me: I love him! I listen to bed on fire on repeat!
Mom: He and @JellyRoll615 both have that raspy voice. They remind me a lot of each other, except he doesn’t have tattoos
Me: …Uhm… exactly which one of them do you think doesn’t have tattoos?

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

“When they go low… we get a shovel”

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

Enjoy life, until they drop the curtain

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

“What kind of person hates New York?” 

“The same kind who loves Chicago.”

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

A single song lyric has never crumbled me faster or more consistently then “you do make me hard, but she makes me weak”

Thanks @the1975 👍

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

I can be high maintenance if I’m the one maintaining it 🤷‍♀️🥂

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

None of my friends could come with so I just bought a last minute @lizzo ticket for tonight & I’m bringing myself on a date 💅🥂 #lizzo #thespecialtour

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

I used to watch football for the players…

I’m now at an age where I am watching for the coaches 😳😍😍

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

I’m sorry.
WHY did you just bring 2 shots into the locked bathroom stall.

I HATE drunk girl bathroom ‘etiquette’

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

Looking through my phone contacts and saw that I had someone labeled as “My Best Friend EVER!!”

… And I literally have zero clue who that number belongs to 🙃😂

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

The worst thing to happen to bar bathrooms is girls “going together”

Adds at minimum 5
7 minutes to every freaking trip.

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

I have never felt the “there are two types of girls at a bar” meme more than when I see girls walking around in silk tops while my friends and I are wearing oversized Hawaiian shirts 🙃😂😂👕

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

Honestly, I just wanna hang out with @luka7doncic - he seems like he’s having so much fun all the time!

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

At the #leadingladies concert with @KissCountry999 - is it a requirement for all male guitarists to have at least shoulder length hair? 😂

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

@MoneyLynch Every time I see a video of @MoneyLynch I immediately think “It’d be so fun to hang out with him for a day” 😂😂 seems like such a good guy

[Clare Disser @cdisser]

Me trying to help my grandma figure out wordle: “what rhymes with bleak and is on your face?”

Grandma: “eyes, ears, nose, skin… it’s on my face?!”

😂😂