cdmarine

She/her. Chicago expat in KY. Northwestern. Performer, writer, teacher. Comedy & stuff. Twitter isn't real.

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

If I'm ever killed in a mass shooting and some gun-humping politician offers a prayer for me, I want you to tell them to fuck themselves into the sun. #GunViolence

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

Here's what I think needs to be said about Dolly Parton:

You knew everything about her, everything real and true, by her actions.

She was a Christian who spread the Gospel solely through taking care of the least fortunate among us.

She was a patriot who thought the best of America was in our diversity and never backed down from that.

She was a champion of equality solely by doing, not claiming.

She let her music and actions do the talking.

You always knew where she stood just by her example.

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

We can't keep doing this. Constantly living in fear for no goddamn good reason at all. This is not sustainable.

[Jonathan Norris @jonnorris12]

I think that the biggest difference between the Iran war and the Vietnam war is Donald Trump knew how to get himself out of the Vietnam war.

[Sean Davis @seanmdav]

THE inappropriate relationship

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

@lemire @geofflangdale I also worked for the guy at Northwestern. Not for one second buying the naive academic routine. Also the emails defy this explanation.

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

The Roger Schank in the Epstein files is my old boss. And, no, no one is surprised.

[Bec Shaw @Brocklesnitch]

I can’t believe how many shitty old comedy men are alive and Catherine O’Hara is dead. Stupid fucking world

[👑Chris from Chicago👑 @cybtfs]

They aren't talking about the weather...

[Keith Edwards @keithedwards]

Please stop sharing this

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

What if I want to print it on a cake for my gay wedding, tho?

[Acyn @Acyn]

Bondi: If you want to go and print posters with Charlie's picture for a vigil, you have to let them do that. We can prosecute you for that. We have right now our civil rights unit looking at that.

[Machine Pun Kelly 🇺🇦 @KellyScaletta]

I think the reason the Ozzy news hits me so hard is that as someone whose formative years were in the 80s, about 30% of my internal soundtrack is Ozzy, 30% is David Bowie and 30% is Freddy Mercury and now it feels my teen years are basically dead.

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

If you trace any non-indigenous American's lineage back far enough, you're going to find parents who weren't born here, thus wiping out citizenship for their entire line of descendants. Birthright citizenship is what prevents this absurd situation.

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

What a goddamn terrifying time to be alive

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

Gonna have to unblock Leon, aren't I?

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

Graveside military honors will wreck the stiffest of upper lips. Utterly destroyed.

[Jim Stewartson, Decelerationist 🇨🇦🇺🇦🇺🇸 @jimstewartson]

This is the actual goal, to have a black site from which no one will ever return, regardless of their guilt or innocence, and whether or not they are an American citizen.

First they came for Kilmar Abrego Garcia.

[Don Winslow @donwinslow]

DEMOCRATS IN THE SENATE AND THE HOUSE...

CONVENE A PRESS CONFERENCE TODAY IN MASS AND SHOW YOUR SUPPORT OF #Zelensky

STOP LETTING REPUBLICANS CONTROL THE NARRATIVE.

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

Voting for the lesser of two evils is, in fact, a moral imperative. Who knew?

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

Mostly I just want the Earth to open up and swallow both sides of this MAGA civil war: H1B Elon & Vivek looking for cheap labor to exploit, plus racist, anti-education MAGA chuds. This is some funny shite.

[cdmarine @cdmarine]

Holy Cannoli improv is currently performing for 24 hours straight unless they can raise $5K for charity before that. Check out QCC Damn Challenge https://t.co/7uyEm0ddjP