Christopher Merchant II

ΦΚΣ, SAAS & marketing PM. Retired attorney. USAF milspouse. Equal parts strategy, sarcasm, politics, and scotch. Trust me, I’m (married to) a doctor. 🇺🇸

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@baptisttexan @RapidResponse47 It was kinda funny

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@EliLake Question is how many people aren’t gonna “get it” and end up starting their own weird sect of the Church of Conspiratology based off a piece of brilliant satire? 😂

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@benshapiro Never listened to any of your stuff before- I’d heard about you for years but I’m not big on podcasts; but this is some of the most biting satire I’ve ever seen taking down the idiocy that is rampant conspiracist thinking. 🫡

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@ConnollyRoss @mkhammer The Cloud Botherer himself throwing his hat in the ring.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@RolleRukus @ywomendeservles Alright man. Not here to fight you but I hope you find some clarity on this.

The viewpoint you’re espousing is just as wildly generalized as saying blacks are criminals or men are rapists or Jews are cheap. It’s lazy to avoid investigating by generalizing.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@RolleRukus @ywomendeservles Or- hot take- she was just a bitch and homie dodged a bullet and nobody should generalize about a group based off the shittiest people in said group.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@ClayTravis I don’t consider myself a conspiracist but I agree. I’ve been saying for a couple days his only shot is “this”, so why wouldn’t he stick it out? What was he promised, by whom, by what mechanism, and to what end?

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@fitzerDallas @_Knight_writer @TerribleMaps Feels like Utah belongs in the “if your kid is really cool” bucket. A person named Utah should have a guitar and own part of a distillery.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@CoreyWriting I remain convinced he’s not going anywhere. The guy is a commie rapist asswipe but if you take his perspective right now his odds to win are greater than 0. If he drops out, they become 0. And it’s not like he’s got a future ahead after this if he doesn’t win. For him this is it.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@karol

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@chriswithans I take that back somewhat- he does have a future; he can sell oysters to his mother and try his hand at being a lefty podcaster with Piker and the pod bros and other similar accidents of mitosis. But still: if he wants to be in office, this is his only shot.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@chriswithans Clearly I’m not the only one who thinks he won’t quit. He’s a communist scumbag but… what other choice does he have? If he drops out his chance to win is 0. If he stays in, his chance to win is greater than 0. That’s simple math for a guy who has no future otherwise.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@SwannMarcus89 Her positions are insane-o anti-American nonsense but she has clearly learned how to do politics. Pelosi taught her well. She’s still a radical and a nut, but she knows what she’s doing… which is more dangerous than not if you ask me.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@Ajayfizzy Nobody’s talking about who is buying a 128GB USB-A flash drive in 2026. Trying to boot the world’s biggest Linux distro or do you have two air gapped 2015 servers you need to transfer a weird amount of data between?

Fraud sucks but also what are you doing lol

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@bethanyshondark I remember telling my mother that my baby sister was “coloring too loud with crayons” once when I was about 10 and she was 4. It became a joke we carried for decades when one of us was being overly dramatic about something.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@LisaDeP @davidharsanyi I’ve heard his newest book: “Hitler: I think this guy was up to some shady stuff maybe?” is in the works.

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@LisaDeP @davidharsanyi Tapper’s latest book outlines how there used to be two skyscrapers in Manhattan and apparently nobody knows what happened to them; but for his thorough investigation detailing that it’s possible(?) they fell down when nobody was looking. Gripping reporting!

[Tickled Orange @TickledOrange]

The RED CARD call truly was absolute BS, but this is hilarious 😆

[Christopher Merchant II @cdmerchant]

@karol You don’t? I thought this was just a still from one of your recent media hits.