I come to you in need, dear friends. As Chairman of Bamutakudde Village, I carry a heavy burden on my heart for my people.
I want to us to join hands and provide sponsorship to 100 children this term at only UGX. 60,000 per child to facilitate their education and stay in school.
Every child in Bamutakudde deserves toย sit in a classroom, eat a hot meal, hold a pen and a book, open a textbook and DREAM BIG. Every 60K you give changes a life.
This is not just charity, it is an investment in the future of these children.
You can donate using this link https://t.co/uAwjy8f8Ws. We are working with
@grooplybyiotec@ioTec_Limited on this crowd sourcing campaign .
My fellow men, we need to talk about postpartum care.
Before Rumi was born, I read up on postpartum. Hormonal changes, baby blues, sleep deprivation, mood swings (I am thorough, bro). I thought I was reasonably prepared. Yeah, so that was a big misjudgment. I was absolutely NOT prepared.
Turns out reading about this phase and actually living it are not the same thing at all. So I'm not going to pretend I have a solution. Think of this as a note you can come back to when you're in the middle of it and have no idea what you're supposed to do.
1. Put your ego somewhere very, very far away.
A friend told me this before Rumi was born: "For the next few months, destroy your ego. Take everything on the chin." I nodded as I got it. Oh boy, I did not get it.
Your wife has just gone through pregnancy, delivery, physical recovery, a hormonal crash, no sleep and being responsible for another human 24/7. This is not the time to win arguments. There were plenty of moments where I wanted to defend myself or explain what I actually meant. Honestly, most of those moments did not need a defence lawyer.
2. You are the translator between her and the rest of the world.
Biggest learning for me. Parents, in-laws (this needs its own thread), relatives, friends, visitors, phone calls, everyone's opinion on feeding and sleeping and how to hold the baby. All of it should come to you first. You take the hit, you filter it, and only the useful and kind stuff gets to her.
Someone wants to visit at the wrong time? You handle it. A dozen people want updates? You handle it. She is recovering. Don't make her manage everybody else's feelings on top of that.
3. Stop trying to solve everything.
I am always in problem-solving mode, and I have learnt that females hate it.
There were days my wife would cry and neither of us could say why. My default with any problem is "okay, what's wrong, how do we fix it." Terrible strategy here. Sometimes there's nothing to fix. She just needs to get everything out of her head while someone listens without turning it into an action plan. So sit with her. Listen. Hug her. Ask what she needs, and then actually do that thing.
And if the crying doesn't ease off after a couple of weeks, or something just feels off, that's a doctor's job, not yours. Get help.
4. Don't wait to be asked.
This one is straight from my wife. The baby is your job anyway, that doesn't count. Notice her. Get her food. Fill her water bottle. Offer a massage. Take stuff off her plate before she has to assign it to you. And every so often, give her the one thing that basically disappears once there's a newborn in the house: your full attention. Phone away, no baby logistics, just her (I was playing IPL fantasy during this phase and it was a bad decision).
5. Rehearse, if you can.
If you're anything like me, you forget things. Especially at 3am. Nothing on this list works if you only read it once, so go over it now and again before the baby arrives. Be a bit deliberate about it.
Looking back, I think I got "being prepared" wrong. I thought it meant knowing what could happen. What it actually means is remembering all of this at 3am, half asleep, holding a crying baby, while your wife is having one of the worst days of her life.
Trust me, you're going to need it.
I went to see a friend's child in hospital yesterday. He is so small but now in ICU it breaks my heart. The neighbour reversed and did not see him. I sat with them for a while and they told me how it happened. It was ordinary and that is the part I cannot get out of my head.
He wasn't speeding. He wasn't drunk. He wasn't on the phone either. The man reversed the way all of us reverse, out of a compound he has driven out of a thousand times and a child who had been somewhere else a moment earlier was suddenly behind him.
He is not a careless man and he is not just a neighbour. He is a close family friend and he is so broken about it. So when i got home, i decided to check what research actually says, because I wanted to understand how this happens, as it is not first time am hearing about a similar incident.
In more than 7 out of 10 of these cases, the driver is a parent or a close relative. Not a stranger. Not someone reckless. Someone who actually loves the child.
And most people don't know that the space behind your car is far bigger than any of us think. It is not a metre or two. Behind an ordinary car runs about 20 to 30 feet. Behind a pickup it can reach 50. It is wider than the car itself and the shorter you are, the bigger it gets.
A small child standing anywhere inside that space is completely invisible. You will check both mirrors, turn and look over your shoulder, see nothing at all and be entirely right that you saw nothing.
The children this happens to most are around one year old. The age that has just learned to walk and follows the people it loves without saying a word. Bigger cars like SUVs make it worse which is most of what sits in our compounds.
So this is what I am doing from now on and what I am asking you to do. Get out and walk to the back of the car before you reverse. Every time. Not a glance from your seat. An actual walk, just 10 seconds.
Hoot once before you move. Reverse at walking pace with your window down, because your ears will sometimes catch what your eyes cannot.
Keep balls, bikes and toys out of the parking area completely. A child running after a ball behind a car is how most of these start.
And treat the reverse camera as a helper, never as your eyes. It has blind spots of its own and it shows you nothing the moment it is wet or dirty.
I always tweet about cars here but none of this matters as much as this. Actually, the most careful driving of your life should happen inside your own gate.
Send this to every person who drives in your home. Today, not later...
Excessive bleeding after childbirth is a medical emergency.
If your partner or loved one shows any of the listed signs, go to the nearest health facility immediately.
#MOHatWork
Fellow Ugandans, especially the Bazzukulu,
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It is with a lot of sadness that, on the behalf of all Ugandans, Maama Janet and myself, I extend our most heart-felt condolences to the Royal Family of Tooro and to all Ugandans on account of the death of the prominent Muzzukulu, His Highness Oyo, the King of Tooro at such a young age of 34. How unfair life can be!! He was orphaned while still young and he has died young.
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In the short life on earth, he had shown that he had potential of working well with the Central and Local Governments to develop Tooro. What a loss to Tooro and Uganda.
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Some months back, Her Royal Highness Kemigisa, Nyinomukama, came to tell me that the Muzzukulu Oyo had cancer that was very aggressive. The Government supported them to go to Germany and, then, the USA where he died.
Embeera nga bw'efaanana mu Lubiri e Mmengo, bbendera zewuubira mu makkati!
Obuganda buyimiridde wamu n'abantu ba Tooro oluvannyuma lw'okuviibwako Omukama Oyo Nyimba Kabamba Iguru Rukidi IV
Gutusinze nnyo Ayi Ssaabasajja