i want people to notice my absence i want ppl to miss me i want to be noticed and Matter but yet i am so scared of taking up space of being loud of being Big of being Too Much of being perceived of being a burden of being Known
maybe if i am perfect everyone will love me. maybe if i do everything right no one will be mad at me. maybe if i make myself as small as possible and as little of a burden as possible they will like me better. maybe if i am faultless i will deserve to exist