🌈 Queer Cephlapod

Here is where one would write something witty ... were they witty of course. Them/They.

[Death Reference Desk @DeathRef]

Oh my god.
We've all been there.

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

@tealandpurple In my defence, we ran out of vegemite

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

@ThiagoOppermann Yes, it's definitely their fault, and nothing to do with the space baby

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

@Poetron5000 Every time 😒

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

@tealandpurple They can only be used for cooking the fruit they are modelled after. You need different ones to make strawberry jam or apple sauce

[Chris Poulton @cg_poulton]

My german wife asked me to hide the Nutella from her, so I hid it where no German would ever find it.

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

@tealandpurple I feel like our diagnostic test for one of them was entirely valid

#onmysecondcoffee

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

Me: Should I finish a project or should I start two more?

@tealandpurple: How about you try to finish a project?

Me: that doesn't sound like fun

[Samantha Ratnam @SamanthaRatnam]

Me trying to signal to Labor to put renters before property developer profits

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

@chrisfordoz @amy137225611142 @Marcus78216830 @PRGuy17 There is more supporting information from the process that led to the statement. You all complained there wasn't enough information, now you're complaining there's too much? Which is it?

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

@___nothinnng___ @Milliganreports @ABCTV It's a men's sport issue - AFL & NRL

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

Where is the @katemccccartney and @katemclennan1 alternative commentary?

#kates
#matildas
#FIFAWorldCup
#FIFAWWC

[Ally @TragicAllyHere]

Being an adult means you have a total of 3 friends and they all live in different parts of the country and periodically you just send each other videos of weird dogs and say “this made me think of you”

[N.J. Gallegos is Dr. Spooky 👻💉💊 @DrSpooky_ER]

Yesterday I had a patient who had a few alcoholic beverages and wanted tacos but the taco place was closed so they laid down in the parking lot and cried so someone called 911.

I’ve never related to someone more.

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

I'm confused. The implication of this tweet is that remote battery lid fiddling is not a completely typical behaviour ...

[descriptive display name that is way too long and @mrgracemugabe]

that’s a cool tv man. can i hold the remote and slide the battery lid open and shut over and over again?

[🌈 Queer Cephlapod @cephlaqueer]

I'm sure this won't end horribly

[Conor Browne @brownecfm]

There are bodies of people who died of smallpox buried in the permafrost.

[The Associated Press @AP]

A New Hampshire man celebrating his birthday on the ocean with his three daughters captured video of something so rare that even marine scientists are jealous — three humpback whales leaping from the water in near perfect unison.