courtney

all spice no sugar

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

like he wants a suburu forester and I want to put a system, new fender flare, underglow, and chop the exhaust and he doesn’t care about any of that he just want a lil suburu with an adventure package 😂😂

turns out I’m the douchebag vehicle person in our relationship

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

Zach having a yee haw truck (6in lifted f-150 w 35s) is funny cause at first he loved it but now he just thinks it’s annoying & it’s me who loves it. originally I was gonna get a new car next year & he’d have the truck but now I’m keeping the truck and he’s getting a car

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

Zach having a yee haw truck (6in lifted f-150 w 35s) is funny cause at first he loved it but now he just thinks it’s annoying & it’s me who loves it. originally I was gonna get a new car next year & he’d have the truck but now I’m keeping the truck and he’s getting a car

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

with that being said if you don’t have a dad or husband or someone in your life to call at mechanic shops so they won’t bully you into buying extra shit, you can call me 😂😂🤠

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

one of the best things about having a car guy dad who’s also kind of mean is that I can absolutely body most mechanic shop guys. my favorite is when I ask specific questions and they’re like “😧 uhhhh let me go ask my supervisor” or being like 🤔😒 when they try to upsell me

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

last time I went with my friend to get her oil changed they were recommending all these upsells before they even got into her car and I stood at the counter with her and just shook my head every time on her behalf. they probably hated me lol

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

also I know people dog on Philadelphia rolls as being not real sushi but it’s my comfort food idc

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

i was having a horrible fucking day but then I went to one of those grocery store sushi counters and there were no philly rolls, and the guy saw me looking around so asked which roll I wanted and made me one 🥹🥲

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

sometimes I see those posts from girls where their man will leave them like $20 in the morning for coffee and breakfast and I’m like “damn, mine doesn’t do that 😒”

but then I remember we have a joint bank account and I’m an authorized user on his credit card so it’s okay 😂

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

currently attempting 30 days sober just to make sure i can do it, and tbh I haven’t been sober that long since I started drinking at like 18

so wish me luck, I started last Sunday and my 30 days will cross through Halloween so 😬

[𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚌 𝙲𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚜 🍄 @anactualwalnut]

An uncomfortably large number of people who have kids shouldn’t have them and treat popping them out like a fun little side quest they do to make cute babies they can play dress up with, while having no actual regard for the deeply important aspects of parenthood. Kids aren’t an accessory, they are a human being whose entire life will be deeply impacted by how YOU parent them. We pussy foot around telling people they shouldn’t have kids because it’s controversial but if we were more bold we’d have less mentally fucked up humans in this world. So I’ll tell you.

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

i love Panda Express chow mein but damn sometimes the cabbage to noodle ratio is like 3:1 and i have to pick out half the cabbage 😬

[Ash @H1TWOM4N]

Crazy to think if you are found dead in a ditch somewhere 1 month later some 35 year old women with a podcast will be detailing your autopsy report after an unnecessarily long hello fresh ad

[mariana @pastapilled]

when a girl doesn't post her boyfriend i think understandable! privacy is everything, when a guy doesn't post his girlfriend i think Wow what a trashcan

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

went to pick up my increased dose of vyvanse and the pharmacist told me it should be lasting 12 hours, but at LEAST 8. And let me tell y’all. It lasts 4. 5 if I’m lucky.

Any tips or advice?

[A.R. Moxon 🦋 @JuliusGoat]

Generally, strict parents think their kids are better behaved, but in reality they don’t know their children, or what their children are doing; they only have a relationship with whatever mask their child has learned they must wear around the strictures their parents impose.

[Molly @FSUmollz]

Outside the bar at 3am looking at the guy holding a pack of Marlboro Lights

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

@NicoleAshley97 i show my husband those tik toks of dads not doing shit all the time like “just so you know this shit will not fly with me” 😂 he’s probably so sick of me chastising him about our hypothetical future children

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

my husband and I enjoy the Barbie movie so much we bought it

i was going to rent it from Amazon but he was like “you might as well buy it it’s like $5 more”

idk it’s just so funny to me cause he’s like a gym bro army guy but he loves the Barbie movie 😂🩷

[courtney @cereal_bowles]

by the end of the year zach will have been gone for 7.5 months of it.

then again at the beginning of next year, and around my birthday

10/10 not havin a good time 🥲🫡🫠