Lieutenant Dan 👨

business minder. expert dillydallyer.

[dank @cptdankkk]

LeBron James says he hates playing in Boston: “They racist as fuck”

“They will say anything, and it's fine. I mean, fuck, it's my life. It's shit I've been dealing with my whole life. I don't mind it. I hear it”

“If I hear somebody close by, I'll check 'em real quick. I move on to the game. Whatever the fuck. They gonna say whatever the fuck they want to say. They might throw something on you. I got a beer thrown on me leaving the game”

“There's a 'Fuck LBJ' T-shirt. I believe they probably sold it at the fucking team shop. Them Celtics had something to do with that shit”

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

Why did god invent pretty brunettes they make me so weak

[Polymarket Money @PolymarketMoney]

BREAKING: The FDA will reportedly announce today that Zyn nicotine pouches can be marketed as less harmful than cigarettes.

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

Gonna gaslight my kid into thinking socks are best thing ever so that they want socks for Christmas

[Busch Beer @BuschBeer]

It’s a first for us! Welcome to the #BuschFlavorShowdown!

YOU get to help pick a new flavor! Drop a 🍑🍋 or 🍊in the comments to let us know which one you’d like to crack open!

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

2 guys were doomscrolling their TikTok’s in the sauna on full volume in the Larchmont NYSC. I truly worry about the state of society

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

I don’t think I can eat a meatball sub until I’m 40

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

You can’t spell Daniel without Denial

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

How much aura do I lose if I wear suspenders to keep my pants up?

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

How soon to send a letter of continued interest when a chick waitlists you?

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

The only person I’m allowing to decide my future is the Lorax

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

The freedom and bliss that comes with wearing boxers in the crib comes with the trade off of not having pockets on them.

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

I sleep better on friends floor than on my own bed #zzz

[New York Yankees @Yankees]

Wells: Gloria morisoñando.
Fried: So, I’m gonna throw my sinker again.

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

Im against public urination now because u can’t public wash hands after

[Jimmy Randazzo @JimmyRandazzo]

Let Fransisco Cervelli and Jorge Posada manage the Yankees…

[State of Palestine @Palestine_UN]

Qué lo qué! 🇵🇸🌴🇩🇴

[mike 🇮🇹 @itsthatboymike]

Can’t make it.

[Noah @NoahKingJr]

mfs who keep tweeting with 0 likes fear no one 😭

[Lieutenant Dan 👨 @cfbdanny]

I’m scared of notifications now