Corey Goethals

[Jerry Ongo @LoveSosa111111]

28 big ones for the fantasy team week 1. Daejon Love rest now brother. We have the watch, and we’ll see you in Valhalla

[Tony Roundtree @Tonywithyy]

Mentally i’m here

[Kalshi Football @KalshiFB]

This how I’m tryna celebrate my birthday 😂

[Little Kevin 5, cpa @pootsobotka]

Not once have i hit these in the direction i need it to go the first time

[Karl Townes Van Zandt @Karl_Townes]

I think about this tweet a lot.

[Ben Stevens @BenScottStevens]

“Sober friend arrived intoxicated. Arrested.”

Shakespeare couldn’t write a better line.

[Threevo @mrporchguy]

I know we joke about stuff being incomprehensible to the European mind but 105,000 people giving a standing ovation to a 90-year-old man in a tuxedo after he puts on a mascot head is probably really hard for them to understand.

[Rob Gucci @heatdaddy69420]

What if the Mike from mikes hard lemonade is the same Mike from Jersey Mikes

[Little Kevin 5, cpa @pootsobotka]

Another Monday at the shareholder value factory

[Jeff Passan @JeffPassan]

Nick Kurtz just had one of the greatest games in baseball history.

6 for 6 with four home runs, six runs and eight RBIs.

He is a 22-year-old rookie.

[Corey Goethals @cgolfballs]

@brianmctaggart jersey of the game. Bring him back

[Chris Simon @Chris_SimonSays]

How is Astros medical staff still employed? 18 (!!) players on the IL…

[Thomas Carrieri @Thomas_Carrieri]

Nothing tests the human mind quite like being emotionally invested in 162 baseball games.

[Taysir Mack’s Burner @accenjoyer1]

Jarvis, multiply by 12 and decrease visibility by 30%

[Corey Goethals @cgolfballs]

@brianmctaggart found jersey of the day in section 109

[Adam Spolane @AdamSpolane]

The Astros forcing all those people to have to sit through an 18-1 game just so they could see fireworks is rather funny

[silver chain cowboy @AgChainCowboy]

Thinking about the time at Olive Garden when the cute waitress paused while grating the cheese on the salad and asked if I wanted more and I said, “Sure, I’m not driving,” and she didn’t laugh.

[Carl @stlydanenjoyer]

Trying to find 2 equally-aged Nike socks

[Rich “Dick Mountain” Hill @DickMountain57]

This guy fell asleep in my 1:30 class

I have class in the same lecture hall at 4:30 and he’s still knocked out

God I love this school