aasem (ah/sim)

professional bit constructor since i don't even know when cause I also have no memory of writing this or that and if it's true what they say then I'll be damned

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

Wow! I just found out that I'm the Ultimate Baseball Star in the Riichi City × Danganronpa collab test. Curious about your own talent? Tap the link to find out now! https://t.co/KmOSJ4Jioq #UltimateTest #RiichiCityDanganronpaCollab

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

Are lizards the original inspiration for parkour?

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

How do we feel about people who respond to "sure thing just give me one second" with a smirk saying it will take more than a literal second

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

Idea: multiple people (at least 3) individually text the same person different times for the start of a meetup/hangout

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

Idea to have with me an empty medium sized box large enough to be uncomfortable to hold for too long with a lot of extremely fragile stickers on it. Go up to strangers and say I'm so sorry can you hold this please and tie my shoe exceedingly slowly while they hold it.

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

//FAKIN IT TILL IM MAKIN MY GRAVE
BIG N SAFE SO I CAN PACE IN IT
WHILE IM SAFE N QUIETLY HATIN EVERYONE FAKE AND NOTHING LEFT TO DO BUT FACE THIS SHIT N WAIT THIS BIT IS NOT FUNNY BUT IM AWAKE AND ITS...

BAD.

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

// BOUNDARIESSSSSS...
IM A FUCKIN CARNIE WHISPERED SOFTLY
// WITH MY CLOWN SHOES
FREE ENTRY
BEND ME
THEN BREAK ME
OWWWIEEEE
// WOWEEEE
I CANT KEEP TRACK OF HOW MANY TIMES IVE GONE OFF TRACK
// I SEEM RELAXED BUT MY ENERGY GOT THE BEST OF ME

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

// BEFORE I BUST THE BS
B CAN BE ANYTHING BTDUBS
WORST IMAGINATION ENCOURAGED
// GO TO YOUR DARKEST PLACE
PATIENCE... TAKES COURAGE

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

I feel so emotional rn is this my period am I on a period what's happening I don't know but I don't hate it it all feels so real

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

WHY DOES EVERYONE SUCK???!!! HOW THE FUCK DO I GET ACCESS TO A REAL ONE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A SINGLE SHIT??!!!

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

There's a hole in my work pants exactly on my crotch area and sometimes I'm self conscious of it but sometimes...sometimes I get a really nice little breeze on a hot sunny day... And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

My leg was itchy while cycling just now. guys... You don't have to move your hand. You just keep it there and your leg scratches itself.

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

accidentally just switched into a lane that was at that moment merging into my lane. not bad. might make this 'my thing'

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

Seconds left I'm about to stall
No regrets- just dropped, my balls

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

I sought one wonton, a hot one, while bob's gone. I'd give anything, on god's son. A fawn? Done.

Don't mind if I foooonduuuuue
Bitch I fuckin gotchu

Right where I don't want you
I'm alluring as a monsoon

Which is to say NOT AT ALL
Haberdash not about to fall

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

Insomnia --> watching three thousand years of longing --> cauliflower, potatoes n artichoke??? this is what peak living looks like

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

I guess I'm in my female art pop era now

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

briskly walked at the park this morning. this dude walking in front of me kept jogging for a bit whenever i was about to pass him putting some distance between us until i was about to pass him again... for 2+ miles. I FELT EXACTLY LIKE THE IT FROM IT FOLLOWS.

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

@SexiestGrandma What else do you do again besides ruin people's fun?

[aasem (ah/sim) @chaichappals]

Can someone please explain to me the science behind everything taking longer than I think it's gonna take