chamisa

[chamisa @chamisa]

I have no beef with vegetarians. http://t.co/gKNpgl7WD3

[chamisa @chamisa]

I can never remember whether or not I'm supposed to mess with Texas. http://t.co/OaM68qmow7

[chamisa @chamisa]

I don’t think I’m ready for the emotional commitment of ordering a Happy Meal. http://t.co/bpCBZowd5J

[chamisa @chamisa]

http://t.co/dgeSEeP9KQ Oh, I just love it when people are being sarcastic. That's just really great. Thanks a lot.

[chamisa @chamisa]

http://t.co/1MrMcMzCL2 "I don't like the taste of water" - First World Problem

[chamisa @chamisa]

http://t.co/FGMtOUNjnV I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, its still not enough.

[chamisa @chamisa]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/LlNSylxnYw

[chamisa @chamisa]

http://t.co/YW0hlFFu7l No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.

[chamisa @chamisa]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/2QhSyWogpd

[chamisa @chamisa]

http://t.co/fafsmkxcIK Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass.

[chamisa @chamisa]

Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell. http://t.co/iSAprPLR3r

[chamisa @chamisa]

http://t.co/XqJF5OaU I just saved 57 dollars on my groceries without a single coupon. Self checkouts are awesome.

[chamisa @chamisa]

I mutter "you arrogant asshole" when my phone auto-corrects 'iphone' to 'iPhone' http://t.co/qImEVTqd

[chamisa @chamisa]

http://t.co/amFBK4nx Who needs drugs or alcohol when you've got a carbon monoxide leak?

[chamisa @chamisa]

I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.. http://t.co/72C0k67b

[chamisa @chamisa]

http://t.co/fEucoARy Calm the fuck down, Nutrition Facts labels on bottled water.

[chamisa @chamisa]

Just itched my crotch while trying to swat a fly and four people told me I was a good dancer. http://t.co/1ssNNNpc

[chamisa @chamisa]

http://t.co/S3PpcXer My time machine and I go way back

[chamisa @chamisa]

Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy. http://t.co/ohz4p042