l’mStillLisa

[Kate Melvin @RealKateMelvin]

Me: I’m not letting anything bother me today.

Menopause: Perfect. Your husband is about to start chewing.

[OkieMaga_Patriot46 @Okie_Patriot46]

I need to make a very PUBLIC announcement on behalf of younger GenXers and older Millennials.

If you see someone in their 40s or 50s who seems a little boring now, I need you to understand something...

We already got it in.

Like...GOT. IT. IN.

We are not sitting home on a Friday night because we never knew how to have fun.
We are sitting home on a Friday night because we have seen enough.

We went to parties in houses that should have been condemned and were almost certainly owned by the local drug dealer.

We saw police lights and RAN and not across a nice, flat field.
INTO THE WOODS.

Do you understand the athleticism required to hurdle uprooted tree roots in platform shoes while simultaneously trying to keep your low-rise jeans from sliding completely off your ass?

And somehow...we never spilled the Zima. We never spilled the Boone’s Farm.

That was TALENT.

We slept on floors in strange houses because the designated driver either never showed up or, in a shocking turn of events, was drunker than everybody else.

There was no Uber, Life360 or Find My Friends.
There was just somebody named Mike saying, “I know a shortcut.”

And we FOLLOWED MIKE.

We closed down bars and then decided the night was still young, so we drove to Atlantic City, where we somehow managed to get drunk, sober up, get drunk again, sober up again and then get drunk a THIRD TIME before breakfast.

And according to our parents? We were at Michelle’s house.

Eating pizza and watching movies.

Michelle’s mother unknowingly covered for approximately 17 people every weekend. If there even was a Michelle.

We drank things called Purple Passion, Mad Dog 20/20 and whatever somebody mixed inside a giant plastic garbage can. Nobody asked what was in it. You grabbed a red Solo cup and trusted the process.

We went to clubs until the lights came on. Do you know the psychological damage of seeing a nightclub with the LIGHTS ON? Nothing good happens after those lights come on.

We danced for four straight hours in shoes that permanently altered the structure of our feet.

We made entire plans without cell phones...no texts, dropped pins or group chats...just an extremely questionable sense of direction.

We rode in cars with 11 people when the vehicle legally seated five. Someone was always sitting on someone. Someone was always in the hatchback.
And there was always one friend yelling, “DUCK!” when we passed a cop.

So yes...now we like being home.
We like sweatpants.
We like cancelling plans.
We like saying, “That sounds fun!” with absolutely no intention of attending.
We like restaurants at 5:30 because we can get a good table.
We like being home by 8:17.

And if someone texts at 9:30 PM and says, “What are you doing?”
Sleeping...we are sleeping.

Because this is not boring my friends...this is retirement.

We already played, partied and danced on the bar.
We already ran from the cops through a wooded area dressed like a Spice Girl.

We have stories that cannot be posted because there are still people with careers, marriages and reputations to protect. And thank GOD there were no camera phones.

So kids, when you look at your Gen X and older Millennial parents sitting peacefully on the couch watching Dateline at 8 PM and think:
“God, you guys are boring.”

Sweetheart...oh sweetheart.
You are looking at retired legends.

Put some respect on our names. We're probably the reason Life360 was invented.

xoxoxo (posted from someone else on FakeBook) 🤣 #genx #oldandtired

[Adam | Faithful Messenger @Adam_FaithfulM]

The strangest two verses in the New Testament, and almost nobody notices them.

"The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many."
- Matthew 27:52–53

Read that again.

The moment Jesus died, graves broke open around Jerusalem. Dead believers came back to life. They walked into the city. People saw them.

And then... Matthew moves on. Two sentences. No names. No follow-up. No other Gospel even mentions it.

You've probably read the crucifixion account a dozen times and skimmed right past it.

So what actually happened?

Notice the timing first; it's stranger than it looks. The tombs opened at Jesus' death, when the earth quaked and the rocks split. But the saints came out and appeared in the city "after his resurrection." Matthew is being careful. Nobody rises before Jesus. He is "the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep" (1 Corinthians 15:20), the first sheaf of the harvest, guaranteeing the rest. The graves cracked open on Friday. But death had to wait for Sunday.

Why does only Matthew record it? Because Matthew is writing to Jewish readers who knew their prophets. Ezekiel 37: the valley of dry bones, graves opened, God's people raised. Isaiah 26:19: "Your dead shall live; their bodies shall rise." Every Jewish reader would have understood instantly: the resurrection age the prophets promised didn't just get predicted at the cross. It started.

And that's the point of these two strange verses.

The moment Jesus died, death itself began running in reverse.

Not at the end of time. Not someday. That afternoon. The quake that split the rocks split the graves as if creation itself understood before the disciples did.

Those unnamed saints were a preview. A down payment. Proof that what happened to Jesus will happen to everyone who belongs to Him.

The tombs opened at the cross.

Yours will too.

[World's Amazing Things @Hana_b30]

This great horned owl didn’t just steal a kid’s stick horse…
it claimed it as its personal ride and started touring the neighborhood.
Spotted in Eureka, Illinois, the young owl carried the toy from tree to tree, adjusting its grip mid-flight and refusing to let go.
Young great horned owls sometimes “play” with objects the same way they practice hunting. This one found the ultimate toy.
Not every bird gets its own steed.

📸 Eric Lind (Eureka, Illinois)

[l’mStillLisa @chaqtcha]

@FreddyLA7 University of Georgia!

[Braves Stash 🇺🇸 @BravesStash]

This might be one of the funniest things I've seen on this app 😂

[l’mStillLisa @chaqtcha]

@josemorgado What happened in the first set when Fery went to hit the ball at the net??? What did the chair call him out on?

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

Somewhere in America, your weather report is performed as THEATER, and I have become a devoted patron.

In Japan, the forecast is read calmly. Rain tomorrow. Carry an umbrella. Farewell. Sixty seconds, a bow, the nation equipped.

Here, a man named Chip stands before a LIVING MAP, sleeves rolled to the elbow, and delivers the coming of a thunderstorm like news from a battlefield where he personally fought.

"Folks, I want you to look at this system moving in from the west—"

FOLKS. He addresses the entire region as kin. He sweeps his arm and the clouds OBEY HIS GESTURE. He warns of hail with grave eyes, then promises a beautiful weekend with the smile of a man delivering a peace treaty — both within ninety seconds, both with total sincerity.

And when true severe weather comes, America? Chip removes his jacket.

THE JACKET COMES OFF. And the entire state understands instantly: this is now serious. There is a doctrine of sleeves in your meteorology — unwritten, universally read. My neighbor glanced at the television, saw the bare forearms, and said, "Jacket's off. Better bring the grill cover in."

A NATION READING A MAN'S SLEEVES FOR SURVIVAL INSTRUCTIONS. We have early warning systems in Japan that cost billions, and I am no longer certain they outperform Chip's wardrobe.

Last week: hail. Chip stayed on air for hours. No jacket. Sleeves climbing toward the elbow like a rising river gauge. He tracked every cell. He told specific streets when to shelter. MY street. He said its name. A man on television guarded my street BY NAME until the storm passed.

Samurai have served lords for less devotion than Chip shows a cold front.

I watch nightly now. I have opinions about the rival station's radar. The radar is inferior. I trust Chip's seven-day outlook because he tells you when he is UNSURE — and a forecaster who admits doubt is a forecaster whose certainty means something. That sentence is free, America. Give it to your generals.

A man does not ask the storm to explain itself. He watches the sleeves, as his ancestors watched the sky.

Tonight Chip is in the full jacket, laughing with the sports desk.

Stand down, everyone. The realm is at peace.

The sleeves have spoken.

[aaron maze @SportsRRigged]

ladies and gentleman and fans of the Australian Open you are witnessing some of the most blatant cheating and corruption in the spizzirri sinner match. While EVERY other match plays on in the heat, Sinners match gets stopped for a “extreme heat delay” right when sinner can’t move

[l’mStillLisa @chaqtcha]

@TheCinesthetic Chris Penn’s face right before Christopher Walken shoots him in “At Close Range”

[Georgia Bulldogs @UGAAthletics]

Heading to Sanford Stadium this season?

Grab a stadium cup and take it to any Georgia @QuikTrip location for 79¢ refills on @CocaCola fountain and frozen drinks.

#GoDawgs

[l’mStillLisa @chaqtcha]

@PDean2017 @usopen @JPegula @Taylor_Fritz97 @AnisimovaAmanda @holgerrune2003 @iga_swiatek @CasperRuud98 And where to watch. ESPN?

[l’mStillLisa @chaqtcha]

@Big3Tennis Does anyone know who will be broadcasting the mixed doubles from the US Open tomorrow? In America

[229 Dawg 🏆 🏆 @229_Dawg]

🚨 PSA‼️

[l’mStillLisa @chaqtcha]

@680TheFan Why did they boo Ozuna ?

[Scott Barclay @BarclayCard18]

Ostapenko could be in a coma and she'd wake up just to beat Swiatek again.

[l’mStillLisa @chaqtcha]

@rolandgarros

[l’mStillLisa @chaqtcha]

@TennisChannel why, when you are showing replays, are you putting the days results up on the side and bottom of the screen???? Since you are not broadcasting the FO I hope you will do better when you are showing the replays later in the day.