hated

I set up this Acct to post dirty, fun things my daughter can't see. Now it's hella depressing, always sharing my despondency. Oops YOU SHOULD NOT FOLLOW ME.

[hated @charbads]

@stephengammill They both require a certain amount of bitterness and depression?

[hated @charbads]

Everyone is tired of my bullshit

[hated @charbads]

Klonopin > than loving hugs

[hated @charbads]

Besides not abandoning people, I have nothing to live for for myself. I’m a minus even when I don’t mean to be.

[hated @charbads]

My mom was like this. She was just a sad little stick by the end. I’m also nothing. I don’t want to live. It’s just all going to get worse for the rest of my life until I die. My whole life is a bad failure. The only thing I wanted, insisted i succeed at was a failure.

[hated @charbads]

I’m over here feeling let down by my loved ones, but I don’t offer anything as a friend. I can’t DO things. I don’t have money or creativity to create fun times.

[hated @charbads]

I need to be ok with being alone. Even from friends. I need to stop needing anything. I’m alone and I deserve to be alone. It’s only painful when I hope for something different.

[hated @charbads]

I’m really a disgusting person. Everyone can see and feel how disgusting I am and they avoid me. Every place I live, they can’t stand to have me there. Anyone I’ve dated is grossed out by me now. I’m small. I offer nothing but deficiencies and emotional turmoil.

[hated @charbads]

I hate myself so much. I’m hitting myself in the head today. It feels so good. I deserve pain. Like if I don’t deserve comfort, I deserve pain. What’s the difference?

[hated @charbads]

Even the pets around me just want me to meet their needs. I need comfort I don’t have to pay for through tasks.

[hated @charbads]

It’s physically painful to be so untouched.

[hated @charbads]

No one said, “oh maybe I can figure it out. Let me see”

I do that for them. I’m taking about in person stuff. I make them a priority bc I know they need it and I love them.

I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want friendships this. I never get touched. Ever. By anyone

[hated @charbads]

Wants to show me over and over again that I’m empty and not worthy of needing love or human comfort. It’s not like I feel this out of thin air. Whenever I can feel this need, I go without. But I’m supposed to keep my heart open in case someday it works out. This is so painful

[hated @charbads]

I think I’m low maintenance for in person needs. I always go to them bc they don’t like leaving their house and they have kids. But I also hate leaving home. I never ask for in person support ever. I feel like the universe wants to show 1/2

[hated @charbads]

These are the safest and most loving relationships I’ve ever had and they have the flimsiest reasons for being unable to come. Like just say you don’t want to. Just say I’m not worth it.

[hated @charbads]

My BFF just told me sorry she didn’t come hang out, but she was able to postpone her date so she can go meet him later. Like why even tell me that. Just don’t act like it was ever an option.

[hated @charbads]

There isn’t a single person who wants to give me comfort. Even when I ask for it. That is my whole destiny.

[hated @charbads]

I wish I had committed suicide back when I first moved to Texas. I’d just be a sad story now and people would have healed. I wouldn’t have a lineage to devastate.

[Leslie Jones 🦋 @Lesdoggg]

I’m sorry but this lady just became my idol!! #getavaccineforthatlyric

[hated @charbads]

I’m not big enough for this world. Sorry that other people are stronger or braver. I don’t have a single thing to offer the world but panic and I can’t sustain myself. Getting my haircut so I’ll look good at the end.